On Thursday, the film and literature worlds were rocked by an out-of-the-blue announcement — the Harry Potter universe will come back to film with an adaptation of author J.K. Rowling’s “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.”
A fictional textbook released in 2001, “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” was a lot of fun to read as a child. The book documented all the magical creatures in Harry Potter’s world. Some are seen in the novels. Some are not.
If you’re a big Harry Potter fan like me, then I am sure you are just as happy about this film as I am.
And if you’re as a big of a sports fan as I am, then you may be wondering what this book has to do with sports.
The answer is not a whole lot — at first.
Although Florida does not have any dragons lining up to play, I can’t help but draw some comparisons between the magical creatures I read about as a kid and the football players I cover daily.
UF’s running backs: Runespoor. In the Harry Potter universe, the Runespoor is a three-headed snake, and each head has its own personality. The left head is the planner, the center head is the dreamer and the right head is venomous.
Florida sports a veritable stable of running backs, featuring Matt Jones, Mack Brown and possibly Kelvin Taylor. There’s the Gators’ three-headed monster.
Each of Florida’s tailbacks brings something different to the table.
Brown is the left head — the planner. When Jones, Florida’s projected starter, contracted a viral infection over the summer, Brown came to the rescue of the Gators’ plan. Brown ran for more than 100 yards in Florida’s season opener, keeping UF’s strategy of dominating the running game intact.
Jones is the right head — the venom. Although he struggled against Miami — understandable for a running back playing his first game in months in the Florida heat — Jones has the ability to deliver a quick, deadly strike to the opposition, like he did against Florida State in 2012.
Taylor is the center head — the dreamer. Or rather, the focus of Florida fans’ dreams. The narrative writes itself. Taylor is the son of former Gators running back Fred Taylor, and he made a solid debut in garbage time against Toledo.
Ronald Powell: Acromantula. If you read or watched “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets”, you remember these bad boys — giant, hairy, scary spiders.
If you’re a quarterback and you see Powell running at you, then you need to make like Harry and Ron and get the hell out of there as fast as possible.
Powell has had a strong start to his junior season, racking up four tackles behind the line and two sacks — all of that on a surgically repaired ACL.
Powell may be the scariest defender Florida boasts, and his facial hair definitely fits for the “hairy” qualification.
Jeff Driskel: House Elf. Driskel has been bottled up — some might say enslaved — by offensive coordinator Brent Pease’s run-based offense. But like the Harry Potter universe’s faithful servants, Driskel has taken it in stride. Give Driskel the reigns — or a sock — and set him free, Brent!
Also, like house elves, Driskel has rather large ears.
Trey Burton: Porgrebin. Another creature that is only seen in “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” the Porgrebin is a small Russian animal that follows people and fills them with a sense of despair — the same feeling Florida fans get when Burton lines up in the Wildcat formation.
Florida has used Burton in that package three times this season. He has rushed for -3 net yards this year. That is not a good start.
If you’re a Gators fan and don’t dread seeing Burton take a snap, then you’ve probably been unconscious since 2010.
Tim Tebow: Tebo. Yes, Tim Tebow no longer plays for the Gators, but his influence is still here on the Florida campus — just look at the statues outside of the stadium. Also, the fact that Rowling came up with a creature called a “Tebo” is too good of an opportunity to pass up.
There is not much information on the Tebo because the creature never appears in a book. What I do know is that the Tebo is a gray warthog that can make itself invisible, which is fitting because Tebow is virtually invisible to NFL teams.
Follow Adam Lichtenstein on Twitter @ALichtenstein24.
Ronald Powell attempts a tackle during during Florida’s 21-16 loss to Miami on Sept. 7 in Sun Life Stadium. Powell has two sacks this season.
