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Thursday, November 14, 2024

Brace yourselves — another wave of sequestration is coming. And no, it has nothing to do with horses.

The sequester, for those of you who are behind on episodes of “The Colbert Report,” is a set of automatic spending cuts put into effect by the Budget Control Act, signed into legislation by President Obama in August 2011.

The purpose of the bill, which raised the debt ceiling, was to pressure factions of Congress into collaborating on a long-term plan to reduce the national deficit. If not, the sequestration would mandate $1.2 trillion in budget cuts over 10 years.

Plot twist: It didn’t work.

The threat of all-around spending cuts did absolutely nothing to effect change. According to USA Today, Congress broke for its summer recess with the budget situation still dangling like the world’s most horrible booger.

“The House and Senate were unable to pass spending bills that would either conform to across-the-board sequester cuts or at higher numbers set by the 2011 Budget Control Act,” Stateline reporter Elaine Povich wrote. “If the impasse is not settled by Oct. 1, the start of the fiscal year, the federal government could shut down, adding to the fiscal bedlam.”

Of course it’s no big surprise. According to the Washington Post, Congressional members’ salaries are not affected by the across-the-board spending cuts. The Office of Management and Budget, the agency in charge of executive branch money matters, has remained tight-lipped on why Congressional salaries will escape unscathed from sequestration.

In the meantime, programs such as Head Start, the federal pre-K education service for low-income families, are facing sharp budget cuts. The Huffington Post reported on Monday that Head Start was forced to cut services for more than 57,000 students as a result of the sequestration.

A lot’s at stake here, guys. If Congress can’t reach an agreement, the budgets for education, scientific research, the military, law enforcement, disaster relief and other programs that benefit basically everyone — regardless of political persuasion — will be slashed.

For now, Republicans’ and Democrats’ previous attempts to propose budget plans have been to no avail.

According to Business Insider in February, the Democrats’ proposed American Family Economic Protection Act included raising $54 billion in revenues by implementing the “Buffet Rule.” Income above $1 million would be taxed at 30 percent. It was ultimately shot down.

Congress, it seems, could benefit from a good old-fashioned Saturday detention. Perhaps the deficit-reduction plan could be framed as a group essay? Would Simple Minds be up for a reunion appearance? Will Nancy Pelosi give John Boehner her diamond-stud earrings? And when the members of Congress get rowdy, can Obama come in and say, “The next time I come in here, I’m crackin’ skulls”?

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Chalk it up to wishful thinking.

A version of this editorial ran on page 6 on 8/22/2013 under the headline "Sequestration: Congress needs the John Hughes treatment"

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