Many times in our lives, we find ourselves on the verge of breaking down. Whether it’s because of school, a relationship or life just being a Grade A Pain in the A**, we’ve all been there. Most of us think the best way to deal with this precarious time in our lives is to deal with everything internally. We don’t want to look weak, and nobody can really solve our problems for us, right?
This is what I thought for the longest time until I happened across an interview in The Oprah Magazine with Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher who studies the benefits of vulnerability. According to Dr. Brown, vulnerability is “being brave enough to show up and let ourselves be seen.” I love that. And it’s so true. We are often afraid of revealing our raw, uncensored emotions because we don’t want to scare people off or have them judge us as being weak.
But what I realized, and a point that Dr. Brown makes, is if someone truly cares for you, they will not run away from you or cast judgments on you in your time of need. If they get scared off that easily, they wouldn’t have stuck around for anything. And if they judge you, then they’re just filthy hypocrites. The point being this: although it’s ill-advised to go around sobbing about your life to strangers and acquaintances, IT’S OKAY to let yourself “be seen” by those who are close to you. Not only will you feel better knowing you’re not alone in your struggle, but you will gain the perspective of multiple people you trust. Ultimately, it’s up to you to figure out how you’re going to solve your dilemma, but it helps to have other people’s input as well.
For me, my go-to people are my family and a very tiny circle of friends. Just last week, I was overwhelmingly frustrated with a situation I was in. So I first turned to my mom, who tried to calm me down and gave me realistic advice. Then I drove over to see one of my closest friends, who let me sob hysterically on her shoulder as I revealed my very rawest emotions. She did not laugh at my puffy face and snotty nose A SINGLE TIME, and we ended up giggling together once my fit of hysteria had passed. Then we invited another very close friend over, and we all ended up talking about life and watching parodies of Disney princesses on YouTube. That’s what I call friendship. And guess what? When I went home that night, I felt cleansed, relaxed and overwhelmingly grateful for the support system I have.
So although it may be embarrassing to let yourself be vulnerable, trust me when I say it’s really okay. When you need it, your friends and family will be there. They are not there to put you down or make you feel weak. If it’s a genuine relationship, you should feel whole again after revealing yourself -- not guilty and regretful. Just remember that vulnerability does not equate to weakness. And as stated by Dr. Brown, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to expose yourself in a way that “opens the door to greater intimacy.”
