The all-encompassing purpose of going to college is to better yourself. You get an education so you don’t have to drive the same piece-of-crap car you drove in high school for the entirety of your life or deliver pizzas when you’re 40. Why some don’t include the people they date in that same category of “things to be improved,” I will never understand.
Take Jake and Jenny, for example. They have been together for about a year and recently graduated from the same high school. Jenny, who struggled in school and took her SAT hungover, plans to head off to Florida State University in the Fall. Jake, who always succeeded in his classes, will attend UF.
“We’ll visit each other every weekend,” they say to one another, wholeheartedly believing it. What could possibly come between them? They’re perfect for each other. They both like Mumford & Sons, going to parties and having sex. At 18 years old, what Jake and Jenny don’t realize is that tons of people listen to Mumford & Sons, probably even more people like partying and everyone likes sex. The two believe they are in love, and no distance between them will ever change that belief.
But let me be clear, that distance is most certainly going to change that. Jake and Jenny will no longer be a minute’s drive away from each other. They will not be meeting at one of their lockers for a quick make-out session before their next class. They won’t be able to go home for a quickie before they hear a parent’s car pull into the driveway and have to act like they were “just watching a movie.” And they won’t be able to party together. When Jake arrives at UF he will be surrounded by thousands of girls — many will love Mumford & Sons, partying and bumping uglies. And when Jenny arrives at FSU, she will surely encounter a similar demographic of males — surely a slightly less intelligent crop than the one Jake will find at UF.
Unfortunately for Jake and Jenny, they will attempt to keep their relationship alive. They will stand outside of parties and bars in their respective cities on the phone with each other, arguing because one of the last text responses “took forever,” and as a result, one assumes the other was certainly making out with someone. Despite the fighting, the accusations, the sexual frustration and being surrounded by thousands of people who would be more fun to date, Jake and Jenny will continue to make themselves and the people around them miserable until one of them finally decides to end the relationship. When the last of your stuff has been unloaded from your parent’s minivan, your dad has reminded you for the thousandth time to look into getting him football tickets, your mom has cried an embarrassing amount and their shiny new “Gator Parent” bumper sticker becomes blurred by the distance between you and it, you are no longer the person you were in high school. The boyfriend or girlfriend who receives the all-moved-into-my-dorm text from you will not be the same person he or she was in high school, either.
Some of the greatest memories of your life can come from the first few months of college. But I promise you that when you look back at your time spent at UF, you will not cherish the moments spent arguing with a now ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend outside of a party.
Don’t be like Jake or Jenny.
As you become a more rounded, deeper person at UF, you will find someone with way more in common than a love for Mumford & Sons and sexual intercourse.
And hey, if you don’t end up finding love in college, at least you probably had a really awesome time.
Patrick Ryan is a UF English senior. His columns usually appear Thursdays.
