Summer A is finally almost over. But with NSA surveillance, turmoil in Turkey and the “Game of Thrones” season finale, it seems like the whole world is in an uproar! As always, we’re here to call the spades “spades” and hand out our...
Darts & Laurels
In case you didn’t already know, there’s some pretty crazy stuff happening in Turkey. Since May 31, protests that started with the redevelopment of a park have spread to 78 cities throughout the country. Protesters are concerned that Prime Minister Erdogan, who was once considered progressive, is now promoting an authoritarian and even an Islamist agenda. Since the protests started, thousands have been injured and some have been killed.
Despite its high proportion of Muslims, Turkey is a country that has enjoyed secular democracy. For attempting to subvert precious freedoms by means of violence and police brutality, we give Erdogan this week’s first DART.
Last weekend, Edward Snowden released massive amounts of classified information from the National Security Agency. It was one of the biggest leaks in U.S. history. The leaked material shows that the NSA has been collecting information from everyone in the U.S.
While so many on Capitol Hill are defending the NSA’s illegal behavior, Sen. Rand Paul seems like the only person who’s actually on the side of the people. This week, Paul announced on Fox News that he would be opposing the NSA by filing a suit against them with the Supreme Court. Maybe Paul feels so strongly about it because it was revealed that Snowden donated to Paul’s father’s presidential campaign. While we don’t agree with Rand Paul on everything, we’ll take our allies where we can find them, especially when nobody else is stepping up to the plate. We give a LAUREL to Rand Paul for supporting the people.
This week, the Transportation Security Administration was schooled by a Wookiee. Star Wars actor Peter Mayhew was stopped by the TSA for his suspicious-looking cane, which looked more like a lightsaber. Mayhew, who played Chewbacca in the series, promptly began to live tweet the incident.
“Magic words to TSA are not ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ … It’s ‘Twitter’…” tweeted Mayhew after finally having his cane returned. TSA, he isn’t the one you’re looking for. For wasting valuable time and resources that could be better spent looking for terrorists, we give a DART to TSA.
In a stunning display of ignorance, Glenn Beck has attempted yet again to freak out the American public. Beck, known for his dramatic displays and messianic rants, effectively labeled those who disagree with him as idol worshipers on his radio show, saying that “...whether we know it or not, that’s exactly what our society and what our world is doing right now: worshipping Moloch and Ba’al.”
Beck’s radio show has nearly 10 million listeners, and many of these listeners are sure to be voters. For living in a world disconnected from reality and trying to take his listeners with him, Glenn Beck gets a DART. It’s not that we worship Satan — it’s just that we think he’s kind of like him.
Finally, we’d like to give a quick LAUREL to whoever decided that it was time to remove the statue of the creepy dancing couple from our campus. Can you believe that thing was there for two years? If you’re ever feeling down, just remember that you weren’t the one who made the decision to put it there. All you did was pay for it to be put there — and hauled off.
