We all know the drill. You see an acquaintance from afar. You don’t really feel like talking to him, so you pull out your cellphone and feign interest in it. You keep your eyes glued to the screen so you don’t make eye contact with the person you’re avoiding. Once you’re at a safe distance, the relief sets in that you’ve dodged the proverbial bullet that is face-to-face interaction.
I’m guilty of this action on a daily basis, but upon reflection, it really is quite disturbing. Using a cellphone as a crutch for avoiding human interaction is simply unhealthy.
Our minds seem to be reprogramming themselves to require visual stimuli beyond what is physically in front of us. If a real conversation pauses, it has become a knee-jerk reaction to pull out our phones and look at them until one of us thinks of something else to say. Cellphones have gone from an accessory for communication to our main mode of communication — a fact that I believe to be a problem.
We are forgetting the importance of real, live conversation. True, unscripted and genuine conversing is going by the wayside while text messaging is becoming our main tool for communication. Think about the last time you said something you regretted in a face-to-face conversation, even if it was just something like a you-had-to-be-there story that no one found interesting. If you’re anything like me, it probably wasn’t too long ago that you said something you wish you could take back.
These conversational flubs occur because talking in person is real, spontaneous and rich. In my opinion, you only truly find out who someone is when you have an abundance of real, live interaction. Real conversations leave no time for editing, deleting or molding the perfect statement. All of these perks to texting are likely reasons why most of us prefer to use this electronic method to verbal communication.
People aren’t sacrificing their cell phones to have actual conversations with the people around them. Regional Transit System buses are filled with heads looking down at screens. And if, God forbid, someone does try to strike up a conversation, we’re likely to assume that that person is either crazy or must have forgotten his or her cellphone at home. Couples at dinner spend more time scrolling through their Facebook news feeds than carrying on conversation with one another.
It is time for a change.
Throughout our lifetimes, the technology of digital devices has expanded from practically nonexistent to a simply unavoidable commodity. Through the accessibility of these devices, we have created a world of screens. Our obsession with, and perhaps even addiction to, cell phones and Internet access has created an environment where so much is said, but very little is heard, and our real life relationships are suffering because of it. Use your phone as a tool for communication, an accessory to your arsenal, not a crutch for avoidance.
Next time you go out to eat with friends or a significant other, try leaving your phone in the car. Your phone is not a baby. You’re allowed to leave it alone with the windows up, I promise. Check your Facebook once in the morning and once at night, regardless of how boring the people around you may seem. If you see an old acquaintance, don’t pull out your phone to avoid the conversation. Just say “hello.” Seriously, try it — it’s really not that scary. Use Facebook, Twitter and text messaging to schedule face-to-face interaction — just don’t say “face-to-face interaction,” or people will think you’re strange, and they probably won’t show up. And finally, be sure to stop and smell the roses — you don’t always have to Instagram them.
Patrick Ryan is a UF English senior. His column appears on Thursdays.
