Time flies, and before you know it Summer A is halfway over.
Keep working hard, Gators!
To keep you nice and sharp on the heroes and villains of the week, we present you with...
Darts & Laurels
Heaven and hell almost had a very extreme rearrangement.
Last week, the pope expressed rhetoric that had never been expressed by a head of the Roman Catholic Church. He seemed to say that everyone, even the atheists, are redeemed by Christ’s sacrifice.
In an effort to explain, or perhaps explain away, the Pope’s revelation, the Rev. Thomas Rosica, a Vatican spokesman, said that people who are aware of the Catholic Church “cannot be saved” if they “refuse to enter her or remain in her.”
We issue a nice-try LAUREL to the pope. While we’d all like to be members and enter her, alas, it cannot be.
On that note, the Boy Scouts of America recently lifted a ban on gay members. This definitely sounds like a change in the right direction, but we also wonder about the gay leaders and atheists who have faced rejection.
It’s a toughie, but we give a LAUREL to the Boy Scouts for admitting that being morally straight doesn’t necessarily mean being straight.
After a little more than a week of marriage equality in Minnesota, our favorite Minnesotan has decided she’s going to throw the towel in.
Michele Bachmann announced Wednesday via a video on her website that she won’t seek reelection. We present the honorable congresswoman with a good-riddance LAUREL.
Maybe she’ll start offering gay conversion therapy at her husband’s clinic to help cure her state. Any takers?
Our next laurel takes us to China, where a baby was recently pulled out of a sewage pipe. Residents heard the newborn’s cries and firefighters had to saw the pipe open to release the baby. The process took almost an hour.
Baby 59, as he’s being called, is now in stable condition. For exceptional perseverance in the face of death, we give Baby 59 a welcome-to-Earth LAUREL and wish his rescue crew well, too.
We’d give you more, but all we have left is darts.
Lee Rigby, a British soldier, was stabbed and hacked to death last week. The assailants, who struck in broad daylight, are suspected to have been motivated by religious reasons.
Whatever their reasons, we issue two DARTS into the hearts of Michael Adebolajo and Michael Adebowale. Killing people who had very little to do with your problem solves nothing. Winning their hearts and minds, though, might solve everything.
Remember that, Gators, as you get through midterms!
