This week marked one month away from Spring’s graduation, and if that doesn’t terrify you, then congratulations on being a well-rounded individual with attainable hopes and dreams. For the rest of us, just hang in there.
This brings us to the what-happened-to-the-days-of-getting-a-simple-reality-show-like-”The-Simple-Life”-as-your-main-source-of-income-as-an-18-year-old edition of...
Darts & Laurels
Mark your calendars right now, folks. This week, the long-awaited “Arrested Development” fourth season was given a release date: May 26. The new season will have 15 episodes and will be streamed on Netflix. So, get your Netflix accounts ready, too. If you don’t have one, then sign up for an account by the end of April — you get the first month of Netflix free, FYI.
“Finally my simple wish for the show is coming true: that it be broadcast every second around the clock to every television, computer or mobile device in existence,” the show’s creator and executive producer Mitch Hurwitz said in a statement, according to a Reuters article. Who cares if the show was originally canceled due to poor ratings? “Arrested Development” is the Cinderella of cable TV. It gives us hope for other shows that may not be doing so hot. We give a family-love-Michael LAUREL to “Arrested Development.” We can’t wait to catch up with the Bluth family.
REAL PEOPLE ALERT: There’s at least one high school in Georgia that has segregated proms. “The school holds separate proms for white and non-white students. Homecoming is also normally segregated, with separate courts for each race,” reported The Huffington Post. “Mail Online reports that the school has not broken any civil rights laws because it doesn’t actually sponsor the segregated prom dances — or any prom dance, for that matter. Instead, parents and students are responsible for organizing and funding the private events.”
We give a y’all-down-in-Georgia-need-to-get-with-the-program DART to racists. If we live in a time where the Earth can open sinkholes to swallow people, then we shouldn’t have to worry about racist buttholes ruining prom for everyone. Prom is already not that great. Why would you make it worse?
This week, Facebook held yet another press conference during which we all expected the company to announce it would be producing a Facebook phone. Luckily, it’s not. Sort of. It’ll be called Facebook Home.
“Home turns your phone into a Facebook device,” said a Wired article. “Even with the lock screen on, a photo stream of your friends’ activities fills the screen. Updates appear on your home screen, too. What’s more, Home makes Facebook the primary means of communication on your device. The company’s messaging software merges with SMS, and you can continue using its ‘chat heads’ to text while inside another app.” We give a we-guess-you’re-allowed-to-take-over-a-whole-phone-but-maybe-we’re-already-on-our-phones-too-much FLART to Zuckerberg. We like your panache, but it feels unnecessary here.
That’s all for this week, everybody. We want to end this Darts & Laurels with a little reminder to be nice to those around you. The end of any semester can get a little hectic and crazy, but that doesn’t give us an excuse to behave like idiots. If everyone could be respectful for these last few weeks and then for the rest of their lives, that would be great. Thank you.
Have a fun and safe weekend, and go Gators!
