This week, President Barack Obama named the next director of the U.S. Secret Service. For the first time in the agency’s history, a woman was picked. Let’s give a round of applause to Julia Pierson, ladies and gents.
Here are our top three reasons why putting a woman in charge of the Secret Service is a great idea:
ONE: NO MORE PROSTITUTION SCANDALS
Remember last year, when several Secret Service agents on assignment in Colombia brought prostitutes back to their hotel rooms?
“During the Colombia prostitution scandal, the Secret Service lost the trust of many Americans, and failed to live up to the high expectations placed on it.” said Sen. Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, in an article by the Detroit Free Press. “Ms. Pierson has a lot of work ahead of her to create a culture that respects the important job the agency is tasked with. I hope she succeeds in restoring lost credibility in the Secret Service.” We’re pretty sure she can get everyone back on track, even though I guess hiring hookers in foreign countries is like America’s third favorite pastime.
TWO: WOMEN ARE THE BEST AT SECRETS
We’re great at keeping them, and we’re great at leaking them. If Pierson is just like every other woman ever, she’ll be great at giving up classified information. Typical ladies. Just kidding.
“Ms. Pierson got the job because of her 30 years of experience and because the leadership skills she’s shown throughout her career at the United States Secret Service,” White House spokesman Josh Earnest said, in a report by USA Today. “The fact that she is the first woman to lead this agency is notable ... but it’s not the reason she was chosen for the job.”
THREE: SHE GRADUATED FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF CENTRAL FLORIDA, AND THAT’S PRETTY COOL
Like, no offense or anything, but it’s rare you hear a prominent person in the news who also happened to graduate from UCF. A report from The Daily Beast reads:
“Pierson’s first job after graduating from the University of Central Florida was with the Orlando Police Department, where she was an officer. From there she went to the Miami field office of the Secret Service, turning in exemplary work and receiving a series of promotions that eventually took her to Washington. ‘She’s hit every position on the way up to chief of staff,’ Paul Morrissey, assistant director of the Office of Government and Public Affairs, said when she was named chief of staff. He said it was ‘absolutely amazing.’ Her rise is especially remarkable considering the macho culture that she was operating in and had to navigate.” There you have it, everyone.
We think we can all feel plenty secure in Obama’s selection. Pierson appears to be a hard worker. Of course, we write this glowing editorial for her now, and who knows what strange past she might have that won’t come to light until crass journalists get ahold of it. Until then, we have full faith in how Pierson will run things, and we’re excited to see how she does.
