Do you follow college basketball at all? Because this is probably your most favorite and most hated time of the year, we’re assuming.
This brings us to the more-like-March-”Mad-Men”-are-we-right-AMC edition of...
Darts & Laurels
“Everyone knows that same-sex marriage is here to stay; indeed, it’s expanding throughout the country at a pace that few could have imagined just a few years ago,” wrote Jeffrey Toobin for The New Yorker. “The Justices were not irrelevant to the process, but they weren’t central either. They knew that — and so did everyone else.” His article was titled “Why the Gay-Marriage Fight is Over.” We couldn’t agree more. There’s no basis for any argument against allowing marriage equality. No one should be considered second-class citizens because a group of religious zealots are terrified of things that are different. We give a we-can’t-wait-to-see-a-more-friendly-America-but-until-that-time-we-guess-this-one-will-suffice LAUREL to the Supreme Court. Now, we realize no decision will be made for months, but even the fact they don’t want to support a nationwide ban on love makes us feel positive.
This is probably not the first time we’ve talked about bees in a Darts & Laurels, and it certainly won’t be the last. Bees are like tiny monsters here on Earth. A new study found, “The electric fields that build up on honey bees as they fly, flutter their wings, or rub body parts together may allow the insects to talk to each other,” according to a Wired article. This suggests bees are basically robot stinging machines. Animals and electricity should not mix! Doesn’t anyone else think this is super weird? Shouldn’t we be concerned with nature turning itself against us, one beedroid at a time? Of course. We give a guess-we-need-to-invest-in-those-giant-beekeeper-getups-to-protect-ourselves DART to BEES. They already have stingers. Did they need to read electricity, too?!
Nelson Mandela was admitted to a hospital due to a “recurrence of a lung infection,” reported USA Today on Thursday morning. The article continued: “‘We appeal to the people of South Africa and the world to pray for our beloved Madiba and his family and to keep them in their thoughts,” South African President Jacob Zuma said in a statement. ‘We have full confidence in the medical team and know that they will do everything possible to ensure recovery.’ The presidency said the anti-apartheid leader was responding ‘positively’ to treatment in the hospital.” We can only hope such an inspiring leader will make a strong and full recovery. It’s sort of scary to think of what time passings mean to this world, and kids in our education system will be more and more distant from history makers. We give a we-wish-you-a-speedy-recovery LAUREL to Nelson Mandela.
We’ve never hidden our true feelings about Barbara Walters here at the Alligator. Regardless of how many trails she blazed for lady journalists everywhere, in recent years, she’s just become mildly annoying. She’s like your one friend who tells jokes really loudly that no one else thinks are funny. She’s the worst kind of friend. This week, it was announced Walters will be retiring in 2014, according to “an executive familiar with the newswoman’s plans,” according to The New York Times. We give a good-riddance-please-just-retire-and-stop-interviewing-people-while-walking-around-ranches DART to Barbara Walters. Like, no offense, ma’am, but it’s time for you to stop. Please.
Have a fun and safe weekend, everybody, and Go Gators!
