Sorry Gainesville turned into a frigid ice box practically overnight, folks. We’re doing our best to power through it with as little complaint as possible — people in Florida shouldn’t throw stones at the people who live in northern glass houses. Or something.
That brings us to the almost-all-of-these-start-out-about-weather-did-you-notice-or-care edition of...
Darts & Laurels
Beyonce held a press conference this week and totally kicked all the butts of her haters. People came out in swarms after her performance at the president’s inauguration ceremony for her use of a pre-recorded track. She started her Super Bowl press conference off by singing the national anthem, flawlessly. We give a it’s-OK-to-be-a-perfectionist-because-you’re-Beyonce-and-you’re-awesome LAUREL to Beyonce. Like, we feel bad even typing her name this many times because we’re not worthy.
This week, BlackBerry announced a new operating system and phone design. Yeah, you read that right. It’s like Blockbuster came back from the dead up in here. We suppose the company has to at least try to keep up with the more-hip phone providers. We give a maybe-it’s-time-to-hang-up-your-jacket DART to BlackBerry. Not that we don’t appreciate all of the cultural references you gave us, but it might be time to let the big dogs play on their own. Find another fun project to work on instead.
Gun control talks and school shootings continued this week. “This is not a difficult equation, if I can prove that there is no Constitutional impact on your right to bear arms and the action I’m suggesting can in fact demonstrably show some people could be saved then this seems to be a no-brainer to me,” said Vice President Biden, according to a Politico article. We give a as-long-as-you-try-to-do-something-we’ll-be-happy-but-also-please-pass-it LAUREL to Biden. We will basically never care how much flak you give us for loving Biden, but come on.
NBC does very few things correctly. Fans and followers of comedy will praise it for its legendary programs like “Saturday Night Live” and will curse it for how it treated “Community.” This week, however, marks the end of “30 Rock,” a series led by Queen of Comedy, Tina Fey. Dry your tears, nerds, for we’re confident that Fey will be back on our screens soon — maybe just in a much lesser way because she’s busy raising the next Fey. Plus, who will make such awesome jokes about Florida for us? We give a heartfelt there-there-don’t-cry DART to NBC. Yeah, yeah, we know every show has to end at some point, but we also thought “30 Rock” was different and special.
As a newspaper, sometimes we feel pretty outdated, like our pal BlackBerry up there. It’s the 40th year of independence for The Independent Florida Alligator. If it wasn’t for the brave journalistic actions of those who came before us, we wouldn’t be where we are today. We strive to bring you the information you need to become a well-informed member of society and trick you with entertainment along the way. Thanks for your readership and support for this little ol’ rag. We give a now-you-know-why-we-take-things-seriously-sometimes LAUREL to our readers. We do it all for you.
Have a fun and safe Super Bowl weekend, everyone!
