You hear a lot of doom and gloom these days regarding the general strength and fortitude of our government.
There’s, like, a ton of stuff going on behind closed doors, we’re sure, that should make all of us slightly suspicious at all times. But if we walked around like that all the time, then we’d never get anything done.
It’s best to not think about how weirdly powerful some people actually are. Every once in a while, though, the government does something awesome instead.
In November 2012, someone created a petition titled “Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.”
The description: “By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”
It earned a total of more than 34,000 signatures. That many signatures (at least 25,000 in 30 days) means the president’s office will take a look at it. And, boy, did it.
The title of the White House’s response: “This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For.” Right away we’re in love. It was written by Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget. Real dorky.
The response lays out some pretty logical points about why the government can’t just build a Death Star.
“The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it. The Administration does not support blowing up planets. Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?”
“If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us!” Shawcross wrote. “Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.”
Good on you, Shawcross. He simultaneously tried to foster a healthy connection with the “Star Wars” fandom while he attempted to inspire the next generation of scientists.
“We don’t have a Death Star,” said Shawcross, “but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke’s arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.”
Let’s take ourselves as seriously as the government takes itself; take a scary amount of criticism, then apply a light layer of whimsy.
