Global warming is happening. Now please get over yourselves before we all die.
Sure, we escaped the narrow clutches of a Mayan-predicted apocalypse, but that doesn’t mean we can just live willy-nilly and ignore the actually serious problems that plague our planet.
Call it whatever you feel like, but literally, the Earth is warmer than it used to be. There are more people, cars, technology, etc. than there used to be, so it’s probably safe to assume that all of us have something to do with it.
Buckle up, folks, because you’re in for a sweaty and destructive ride. We realize that we live in Florida, a state that sees pretty mild or nice weather most of the time, but haven’t you noticed that our seasons are blending into one, dumb summer with little dips called “spring” and “sort-of winter?”
In 2012, the lower 48 states saw the hottest temperatures on record. Yeah, there aren’t any records before there was the technology to properly measure it in, like, 1850, so, just deal with that part.
Katharine Hayhoe, director of the Climate Science Center at Texas Tech University, said in a CBS News article that temperatures are rising faster than scientists predicted.
“A picture is emerging of a world with more extreme heat,” said Andrew Dessler, a Texas A&M University climate scientist, according to the article. “Not every year will be hot, but when heat waves do occur, the heat will be more extreme. People need to begin to prepare for that future.”
Things are happening, and they will continue to happen faster unless we put forth any effort to try to help the situation. We’ll put it into terms that you might understand.
Let’s say you got a new kitten. Congratulations! But you’re pretty busy between your classes and homework, plus you just landed a cool new job, so you’re not necessarily home all the time to properly take care of it. At first, it starts acting out in cute little ways that are more adorable than threatening, like trying to trip you while you walk. When it starts to poop in your bathtub or shred your curtains, that’s when you finally take notice and start to do something.
That’s what the Earth is doing now. It’s pooping in our bathtubs and shredding our curtains for the sake of getting noticed so we can fix its problems. “YOLO” also applies to the planet, you guys, not just your outlook on partying.
We’ve only got one Earth, and it’s heating up faster than scientists predicted it would. It’s diseased and infected, and it’s our fault. Stop denying that climate change is happening.
“These records do not occur like this in an unchanging climate,” said Kevin Trenberth, head of climate analysis at the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder, Colo., in the article, “and they are costing many billions of dollars.”
Now you’re not only dumb, you’re also being cost-inefficient. Some of you will scoff and say that energy-smart resources cost a lot of money, too. The difference is in the sustainability aspect of things. Yeah, they might cost a little extra right now, but they’ll also help the planet live longer. Suck it up.
