I am not a music snob. I don’t particularly care if you think either The Beatles or One Direction is the best band of all time.
I hate One Direction, but it doesn’t bother me that other people love them. What does bother me is when people try to justify their certifiably terrible taste in music.
Not content to associate with other people with similar tastes and be content with their poor choices in life, these people try to convince you there is some reason they shouldn’t be damned by their love for crappy music.
Here are some of the ludicrous justifications people have given me for the bands they like:
1. It’s catchy and/or has a good beat.
This is probably the most common throwaway excuse for liking much of what’s on hit radio. It’s popular because it’s often true, which can confuse the person they’re talking to long enough for them to run away singing the lyrics to “Call Me, Maybe.”
While true, this justification is ultimately meaningless. Commercial jingles and the songs on “The Wiggles” are catchy. That doesn’t make them good. The ability to burrow into your head is a facet of both good and terrible songs and shouldn’t be a part of the conversation.
Furthermore, the beat of a song, although it can be absolutely fantastic, cannot make up for terrible music or lyrics. Techno songs often have really great beats, but listen to them for more than 15 seconds, and, unless you’re on some strong drugs, your head will explode. Beats can be integral in a song, but they cannot save them.
2. They have a good song that’s less popular.
Someone I know tried to convince me that Ke$ha wasn’t terrible with this one. Let me say first that everything about Ke$ha, including the spelling of her name, makes me literally sad for today’s music culture. I don’t mean that sarcastically. I mean actually sad. Anyway, Ke$ha having one arguably “good” song certainly doesn’t justify the main body of her work being a travesty, does it?
I mean, Hitler brought Germany out of a bottomless depression, and that doesn’t really make him a good leader. He also loved dogs, but none of that gets mentioned due to the other stuff he did, nor should it. Go listen to Ke$ha’s song “The Harold Song.”
Ask yourself, do you think that song is good enough that in 20 years Ke$ha won’t be remembered as the girl who had two No.1 singles without being able to sing, rap or dance?
3. You’re just a hipster/hater.
This is certainly a favorite of the musically impaired. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if many of you reading this had this thought about me already. It’s a somewhat effective strategy because it totally disqualifies anything you have to say about music as a subject.
They’ll often follow this comment with something like “Go away and listen to The Smiths or something.” This dismissal is common in every area of taste. Anyone who dislikes something that is in any way popular or broadly appealing must be on the obscure fringe and impossible to please. It’s illogical because it doesn’t address how crappy their musical tastes are, and it sets up a false stereotype of their opponent.
For example, I hate One Direction, but I think Justin Timberlake’s “FutureSex/LoveSounds” is the best pop album since “Thriller.”
Don’t get me wrong, The Smiths and much of what is considered “hipster” music is very creative and engaging musically, but I, like almost everyone else in the world, have a range of tastes in music. Dismissing someone because they’re a “hater” is silly as well because it’s sort of the inverse of calling someone a hipster.
It similarly implies they belong to a mindless group, just, perhaps, a larger one. In conclusion, like the music you like. If others hate it, just accept that.I don’t try to justify my love for Maroon 5. I know they’re terrible, and I’m OK with that.
Nate Rushing is a history sernior at UF. You can contact him via opinions@alligator.org.
