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That brings us to the last-edition-of-Darts-&-Laurels-of-the-semester-wow-time-flies edition of...
Darts & Laurels
Ever think about animals and their best friends? Well, a zebra and a pony went running around Staten Island earlier this week. “There was basically a stampede in front of my store,” said Zachary Osher, according to the New York Daily News, who taped the bizarre occurrence. They were returned to a petting zoo in the area, but man, that adventure must have been awesome. We give a good-for-you-and-we-hope-you-had-fun LAUREL to those animal buddies.
A sheriff’s deputy in St. Lucie County used the Precision Immobilization Technique on Sandra Silasavage, a 62-year-old with a “chronic spinal condition that barely allows her to walk,” to push her off the road, according to the TCPalm. Her car, which was traveling at the posted speed limit, was totaled in the exchange with the deputy. We give a this-definitely-seems-like-a-ton-of-unnecessary-force DART to that St. Lucie County sheriff’s deputy. Next time use your siren and lights, bro.
On Thursday afternoon, President Obama had lunch with Mitt Romney at the White House. Now, there are a ton of jokes we could make about this. No, really. But instead, we’ll let a Gawker headline regarding the story do all the work for us. We give a “Barack-Obama-Ate-Some-White-Turkey-With-a-White-Turkey-Today” LAUREL to Obama. Also, he totally treated Romney like that girl who invites you over, and you think it’s a date, but really she just wants to hear your opinion on her outfits for her date with someone else. It’s just like that.
Hey, Lindsay Lohan. Wanna chill out? In case the rest of you haven’t heard, she was arrested early Thursday morning for punching some girl out. She was also charged on the same day for a car crash, which occurred in June, in California. We give a SIT-DOWN-AND-STOP-DOING-THINGS DART to Lindsay Lohan. Plus, did any of you watch “Liz and Dick”? Because that was also an arrestable offense on all of humanity.
FYI, there’s an iTunes 11 out, so now you can stop ignoring the update/download window that pops up whenever you open the program. It’s supposed to be more intuitive to help us all out, which is quite lovely. We give a let’s-count-this-as-the-first-Christmas-present LAUREL to Apple. It’s supposed to be fast! And fun! Thank goodness.
Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker is about to take the food stamp challenge; he’ll use the monetary equivalent of food stamps for seven days in December. When politicians or celebrities do the food stamp challenge, it almost seems offensive to Americans who actually rely on food stamps as a means of survival. However, he seems to be doing it for all the right reasons. Perhaps he can use the knowledge he learns from the experience to better advocate governmental assistance. We give a you’re-probably-setting-a-good-example-but-also-food-stamps-aren’t-something-to-use-for-attention FLART to Mayor Cory Booker.
Study hard, everybody, and we’ll see you back next semester!
