It seems like the fall season is supposed to start with new episodes of TV shows, but instead it didn’t start until this week when the weather finally changed. Thank goodness it did, though, because Floridians can only own so many tank tops before we start to look funny.
This brings us to the the-deadline-for-voter-registration-finally-passed-you-can-tell-because-there-are-a-lot-fewer-clipboards-on-campus edition of...
Darts & Laurels
Remember our editorial this week about weird stuff that happens in Florida? Gov. Rick Scott is one of those things. Our governor gave the phone number to a phone sex hotline instead of the phone number to the health department during a press conference about the meningitis outbreak. We give a nice-try-but-Voldemort-can’t-trick-us-that-easily DART to Gov. Scott. It’s like the time the Internet believed that Rick Santorum had the app for Grindr on his phone. Only this time, it’s real.
Kudos to Netflix who, due to a court case, will place captioning on every video it streams. The settlement, and Netflix, are being heralded as “a model for the streaming video industry” by the National Association of the Deaf. All of its content will be captioned by this time in 2014. We give a what-a-cool-milestone-for-technology LAUREL to Netflix. High fives all around.
Is it illegal to be a complete, ignorant fool? Because, if so, we’d like to charge Mitt Romney with like a million counts of idiocy. That’s an exaggeration. This week, however, he said in an interview with The Columbus Dispatch: “We don’t have people that become ill, who die in their apartment because they don’t have insurance.” Earlier in September, he said, “We do provide care for people who don’t have insurance. If someone has a heart attack, they don’t sit in their apartment and die. We pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital, and give them care.” We give a why-don’t-you-have-a-clue-as-to-how-the-world-works DART to Mitt Romney.
Y’know what’s cute? Little animals. Y’know what’s cuter? Little animals that sing. Apparently mice have the ability to learn and mimic songs. “We think mice are intermediate in this ability between a chicken and a song bird or even a non-human primate and a human,” said Dr. Erich Jarvis, who was in charge of the study. We give a one-step-closer-toward-an-actual-”Cinderella”-situation-here-folks LAUREL to cute mice. Keep up the cute work, fellas.
Sometimes former politicians are offensive and not in a Todd Akin kind of way. This week, Sarah Palin said words again. She called the Associated Press “absolute jerks” and “biased.” Why? Because they released a photo of Mitt Romney that was “unflattering and looks ridiculous,” in the words of Fox News’s Megyn Kelly when she interviewed Palin this week. Quite frankly, Palin can probably speak to the effect of unflattering photos, but not every photo is an object of media bias. We give a stop-doing-the-words-thing-and-just-shush DART to Sarah Palin. It’s not because she’s a woman in politics, it’s because she’s the worst.
Canada might have done something right-ish! About 400 years ago, Justin Bieber, Ryan Gosling and Avril Lavigne were all related. They all have ancestors that date back to some of Quebec’s earliest settlers. We give a that-just-makes-us-love-him-more LAUREL to Ryan Gosling. It’s Friday, live a little.
Have a safe weekend, everyone, and go Gators!
