Another week, another road trip for the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column.
After the staff received good ole southern hospitality in Texas, alligatorSports takes its talents to Tennessee. Looking forward to some um... what do they even have in Tennessee?
For one reason or another, ESPN’s College Gameday decided to follow the Gators for the second week in a row. This time to the Tennessee campus for their matchup against the Volunteers.
But we don’t pay attention to ESPN unless they’re talking Tebow, so let’s get on to the picks! Josh Jurnovoy and Joe Morgan debate the Notre Dame-Michigan State matchup in Lansing, Mich.
Michigan State (-6) will be immune to the luck of the Irish because…
The Spartans are bitter and will be out for blood. As part of the Big 10, they are a member of an exclusive high school clique that invited the cool-looking loner, the Fighting Irish, to join the gang. But they were shocked when the loner went to the less popular group, the Atlantic Coast Conference.
With just one meeting guaranteed beyond this year, Michigan State will want to ensure it doesn’t lose to Notre Dame in the last matchup in Spartan Stadium for the foreseeable future.
- JOSH JURNOVOY
The sons of Notre Dame (+6) will rally onward to victory because...
Michigan State is a basketball school. Notre Dame is a football school. Deal with it.
Entering his third season as The Man in South Bend, Ind., it’s time for coach Brian Kelly to put up or shut up. The Fighting Irish are ready to return to the glory days, and it’s time for everybody to hop on Kelly’s ark — er, bandwagon.
In conclusion, Touchdown Jesus!
- JOE MORGAN
Leading the pack with an 11-5 record is alligatorSports writer Josh “That one went for my neck!” Jurnovoy, who was victimized by a few overzealous crickets while walking from Kyle Field to the our parking spot last Saturday night. Man up, Josh!
Currently in second with a 10-6 record is The Miami Herald’s Matt “The Bully” Watts, who tried to get revenge on his high school tormenters by hiding a colleague’s lunch at a media availability this week. Hold back those tears, Watts. No amount of stolen Chick-fil-A will ever make you one of the cool kids.
Headlining third place at 9-7 is The Associated Press’ Mark “Are those shoes Italian?” Long, who tweeted about his admiration for Jaguars owner Shahid Khan’s silver shoes while in Jacksonville this week. Now, Mark, rocking a pair of kicks that dazzling is tough, so if you’re going to try it, you have to be all in. Also, owning an NFL franchise helps. You Khan do it!
Also in third place is alligatorSports online editor Adam “Boiled-peanut virgin” Pincus, who spilled juice all over his shorts while attempting to pour a few peanuts into his hand during the road trip to College Station. Oh, Pincus. Remind us to buy you a bib next time.
Pulling up in third with an 8-8 clip is alligatorSports editor Greg “Cold-Head” Luca, who has been sneezing and coughing up a storm in the office this week. As Will Muschamp would say, “He’s got a sinus.” Get well soon, and keep your germs out of here!
Also in third is Jason “Come at me, Ease!” Lieser, who tried to start a fight with Dominique Easley at a recent media opportunity. Tired of Easley’s insistence on talking trash before every game, Jason has apparently decided to take matters into his own hands. Sharrif Floyd and Omar Hunter, y’all are officially on notice. This 5-foot-5 menace is out to get ya.
Rounding out third place is Bryan “Real men drink mojitos” Holt, who had a flight attendant whip up one of his favorite fruity drinks as soon as his flowery suitcase was safely stowed. Once he arrived in Houston, at the heart of a state known for surly cuts of beef and places with “Longhorn” in the name, Holt opted for a salad. Even Holt’s ovaries are bigger in Texas.
And in dead-ass last with a piss-poor record of 7-9 is assistant sports editor Joe “Going 73 in a 70 zone is pushing it!” Morgan, who drives like an 80-year-old grandma on the Interstate and whines like an 8-year-old girl when he’s hungry. As if getting a snack at every gas station we stop at wasn’t enough!
