The search has continued this week to try to find Christian Aguilar, the missing 18-year-old UF student. He’s been missing since Sept. 20. The more details are released about this case, the more search efforts increase. We’re sure you’ve seen the posters on campus, but if you have any information that might help the investigation, please contact Gainesville Police at 352-393-7604.
This brings us to the forget-about-elections-there-are-real-problems-to-deal-with edition of ...
Darts & Laurels
Were you upset about the replacement referees in the NFL so far this season? Well, the original refs finally came to an agreement with the team owners over their labor dispute. Thank goodness, because fantasy football leagues everywhere were failing miserably or something. We give a maybe-they-hate-their-uniforms-because-they-get-confused-with-Foot-Locker-employees DART to the NFL replacement refs. We hear yellow flags are on sale for half off.
MEME ALERT! “Grumpy Cat” is the latest Internet sensation. Tard, short for Tartar Sauce, is kind of a dwarf cat with a frown of gold. She’s cute, trust us, but she just looks perpetually sad — so don’t take it personally. We give a please-tell-us-that-you-love-us-because-it-doesn’t-look-like-it LAUREL to Tard the Grumpy Cat. While you look so sad in photographs, we absolutely love it when you smile.
Do you believe everything you read on the Internet? Well, you shouldn’t. This week, though, some big time journalists took a satirical Politico column seriously. They really thought that Paul Ryan’s nickname for Mitt Romney was “the Stench.” It even got Paul Krugman who, when he found out it wasn’t true, to call it “really clumsy satire.” We give a OK-but-it-was-a-totally-believable-nickname DART to serious journalists in the biz.
Sometimes things are hard to understand. We’re simple-minded folk, so if a tough topic is explained with a helpful graphic, then we are more likely to absorb information. That’s why we appreciate Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s illustration during the United Nations General Assembly this week. He wants to stop Iran’s uranium enrichment program before it reaches a dangerous level; he drew a red line on a drawing of a bomb at the “90 percent” line. We give a that-bomb-totally-looked-like-it-was-made-by-ACME-but-we-like-your-effort LAUREL to Netanyahu. (Note: Not Matisyahu.)
We’re going to talk about rappers now. We’re not happy that Lil Wayne now holds the record for most Billboard Hot 100 hits. This is a bad thing because it means that Elvis Presley, arguably the man you can thank for most current music, no longer holds the record. There’s no way that future generations should look back at our Billboard charts and think that Lil Wayne was more successful or awesome than Elvis. That’s just not OK. We give a however-if-you-did-a-mashup-of-Hound-Dog-and-Mr.-Carter DART to Lil Wayne.
Everyone should be super stoked that Childish Gambino, aka Donald Glover, is performing tonight at Flavet Field. The concert is free, and Hoodie Allen is performing before Gambino takes the stage. We’d like to apologize that we are not UCLA — you’ll get it if you listen to his songs. Speaking of which, listen to his songs. He’s more than a hilarious actor on NBC’s Community; he’s also a genius lyricist. We give a is-there-anything-this-man-can’t-do LAUREL to Childish Gambino.
Stay safe this weekend, Gators, and try not to get swamped!
