We followed along with you as we watched a few events unfold on our social media sites this week; first the Apple conference, then the news that Michelle Obama was coming into town. There were so many twists and turns and — oh, who are we kidding, we all knew the iPhone 5 was going to be announced, and we probably could have assumed that Michelle “Respect Those Arms” Obama would make an appearance at a college town in a swing state.
That brings us to the please-don’t-judge-a-top-party-school-in-your-country-ma’am edition of...
Darts & Laurels
We’d like to start off by thanking the protesting supporters of Chris Stephens following the attack in Libya. They stood outside with signs proclaiming things like “Chris Stephens was a friend to all Libyans” and other heartfelt phrases. We give a thank-you-for-your-support-and-we-want-to-return-the-favor LAUREL to peaceful Libyan demonstrators.
Whoops. Amanda Bynes, everyone’s favorite Nickelodeon starlet, was caught driving around aimlessly with a suspended license while smoking a “drug pipe” and eating junk food. Not that we blame her, but she’s had multiple hit-and-runs recently. We give a well-now-the-dancing-lobsters-make-more-sense DART to Amanda Bynes. According to a police report we just made up, she answered the police officer’s question if it was actually her driving a car while high, by saying,”Thaaaaat’s me!”
Kanye West is one of the most honest rappers today (probably). After his condemnation of President Bush a few years ago, he said in a new song called “To The World” that “Mitt Romney don’t pay no tax.” While that may not be entirely based on truth, he makes a good point. Where are those darn tax returns, Mittens? We give a thank-goodness-he-put-it-in-a-song-this-time LAUREL to Kim Kardashian’s boyfriend.
Do you have a least favorite friend who just shows up at parties even though you never invited him, and, in fact, you don’t really even consider him to be your friend? That’s basically who Ryan Lochte is to everyone. He was hired to be a correspondent for New York Fashion Week for E! To which we said “Y?” Whatever. We give a just-leave-without-making-a-mess DART to Ryan Lochte. Oh, but GO GATORS, of course.
New meme alert! Have you heard about “Griffining?” It’s the new “Tebowing.” The new trend was created after Robert Griffin III, of the Washington Redskins, was tackled just before he threw his first career-winning touchdown pass. To “Griffin,” you must sit on the ground and point your index fingers into the air celebratorily. We give a all-right-but-we’re-not-done-laughing-at-Eastwooding-yet LAUREL to RGIII.
Remember the pink slime scare earlier this year? Well now that company, Beef Products Inc., is suing ABC News for defamation of their name, claiming that “false and misleading and defamatory” statements were made about its lean beef. We give a stop-making-gross-meat-please DART to BPI. Also, your name sounds like a cartoon villain’s meat company.
Have a safe weekend, and don’t forget to cheer on the Gators as they take on Tennessee, folks!
