Now that the winds of Tropical Storm Isaac have subsided, we can all finally focus on what’s important: Fall flavors are back at Starbucks. From Pumpkin Spice lattes to Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccinos, at least we can pretend the cooler weather is upon us.
That means it’s time for the fall-is-for-sweaters-and-boots-even-though-we-live-in-Florida edition of...
Darts & Laurels
Congratulations to Former President Bill Clinton for making the Democratic National Convention a real good time. His speech was easily the crowd favorite on Wednesday night’s primetime coverage of the event. We give a we-wish-Billy-and-Biden-would-run-together-in-2016 LAUREL to Bill Clinton.
We’re a fan of anyone who goes after vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan’s stance on Medicare, by saying it “takes some brass to attack a guy for doing what you did.”
Someone celebrated Labor Day a little on the unorthodox side; a Gainesville man used his apartment to cook meth. The thing is, his neighbors happened to be a police annex. We give a sorry-you’re-not-Walter-White-also-stop-cooking-meth-with-children-in-the-house DART to Marty Holder.
Way to keep it classy.
Poor Tom Brokaw. On a broadcast of “Morning Joe” on Thursday morning, he appeared light-headed and was taken to a hospital. Turns out he “mistakenly” took half a dose of Ambien and felt a little woozy. We give a maybe-slow-down-your-schedule-a-little-bit LAUREL to Tom Brokaw.
At least he felt well enough to joke about football in a tweet: “All is well Early AM I mistakenly took a half dose of Ambien and made less sense than usual. Made a better comeback than Giants...”
Not only has Paul Ryan lied about how fast he can run a mile (his actual time was slower than formerly rogue Gov. Sarah Palin), he also lied about climbing 40 mountains. Sure, he told a paper in 2009 that he had climbed “close to 40” mountains that measure 14,000 feet or more; these mountains are called the “Fourteeners.” We give a his-name-should-be-Paul-Lyin’-but-really-please-stop-lying-about-facts-and-feats DART to Paul Ryan.
At least he’s still got his looks?
Let’s not forget that time Rush Limbaugh called Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke a “slut” after arguing that health care plans should cover birth control. She was given the opportunity to speak at the DNC this week. She spoke about what the America under Mitt Romney would look like. It would be “an America in which access to birth control is controlled by people who will never use it, in which politicians redefine rape so survivors are victimized all over again.” We give her a four-for-you-you-go-girl LAUREL to Sandra Fluke.
You show those old white dudes who’s boss.
Have you heard about all the physical feats Russia’s leader, Vladmir Putin, has achieved? Most recently he hang-glided with cranes to show them which direction south is. He hunts with rifles while not wearing a shirt. He’s too good at judo. He scuba dives to deep archaeological sites. He also plays the piano really well. We give a step-up-your-physical-game-American-government-officials-but-don’t-lie-about-them DART to U.S. officials.
And please, Mr. Putin, put your shirt back on.
Have a safe weekend, Gators, and we’ll see you back next week!
