If the heat didn’t get you this week, then the rain most definitely did. Isaac gave us a pretty wet welcome back, so we hope all of you have invested in some sort of rain-protection gear. But it’s not Florida that has really been stomped on by storms this week.
This brings us to the our-thoughts-are-with-Louisiana-and-other-flooded-states edition of...
Darts & Laurels
FINALLY we give a well-someone-heard-our-prayers LAUREL to the “Jersey Shore” producers. They’ve mercifully decided to cancel the series once this season ends, because, like the saying goes, all good things have to come to an end — but only after intense suffering.
Don’t Google this, just trust us: Courtney Stodden (the girl who married a “LOST” actor when she was 16 and he was 51 and tweets things like “Off to run my productive-fulfilled errands under the humid sky, while nothing but utter sex-appeal drips from my rill curvy-bod. ;-x”) turned 18 this week and was immediately offered multiple opportunities to do porn. We give a stop-giving-attention-to-her-because-that’s-gross DART to the porn industry. Y’all can do better.
Though we don’t want to dwell on idle gossip, (Ginger) Spice Girl Geri Halliwell and comedian Russell Brand could be dating. We give a bangers-and-mash-and-other-British-raunchy-puns LAUREL to the potential Hallibrand or Russri. We think they would be a really fun couple! Or maybe we just miss seeing Ginger Spice out and about.
Did you hear Ann Romney speak on Tuesday night during the Republican National Convention? Did you know that the humble picture she was trying to paint didn’t add up to an interview she gave in 1994? We give a sorry-but-you-will-always-be-fact-checked DART to Mrs. Mittens. You tried, but you’re not going to pull the robot wool over our eyes.
Texas has been trying to enact an election law that would require voters to have a photo ID. Some voters in Texas would have to drive potentially 250 miles round-trip just to acquire that ID, but not everyone can manage that. We give a we’re-glad-Washington, D.C.-is-messing-with-Texas LAUREL to the federal court who blocked the law.
Not only is Tropical Storm/Hurricane/Tropical Storm Isaac flooding states, it’s also raising gas prices. Since so much of our oil goes through pipelines or refineries in the Gulf of Mexico, this means we’ll see gas prices go up even more than they already have. We give a come-on-stop-beating-everyone-up DART to that stupid Isaac storm.
Studies done in Sweden show that men and women who eat a little more than 2 ounces of chocolate per week will have a reduced risk of having a stroke. Men and women who ate chocolate, when compared to the participants who ate little to no chocolate, showed about a 19 percent lower risk of stroke. We give a thanks-but-also-couldn’t-eating-a-lot-of-chocolate-cause-other-diseases LAUREL to Swedish scientists.
Have a fun first weekend of Gator football, and we’ll see you next week!
