Well, it's almost the weekend here in Gainesville, but there's no football game at home or away. So what is there to do?
How about some homework? How about that research paper you've known about since the beginning of the semester?
Nah, who are we kidding? It's not November yet.
On that note, it's time for this week's this-weekend-may-be-good-to-catch-up-on-school-work-but-procrastination-is-more-fun edition of...
Darts and Laurels
First and foremost, we throw an it's-a-good-thing-you-killed-yourself-because-you-would-be-screwed DART to Terry Thompson for releasing dozens of exotic animals, including lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) before proceeding to commit suicide.
Apparently, this guy was deep in debt, so he did the logical thing.
Next, we award a way-to-die LAUREL to former Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi for "gettin' got real good like."
Meanwhile, the people of Libya are rejoicing in a collective "Now what?"
In reference to Wednesday's editorial, we throw a these-people-need-to-reevaluate-their-lives DART to the 18 people who walked right by two-year-old Yue Yue after she was hit by two vans on a side street in China.
That's just sick.
For our next award, we give a make-sure-you-give-him-slippery-soap LAUREL to the Marion County Sheriff's Office for arresting suspected serial rapist Michael Alan Frye.
Maybe the security guard on shower duty will sleep in too late one day.
Don't hold it against him.
We also will be lobbing a you-have-got-to-be-freaking-kidding-me DART to Springfield public schools in New Jersey for banning students from wearing costumes to school on Halloween.
The students like getting dressed for school because they don't have time to do it after school due to homework. But the school district has asked teachers to lighten their homework load for that evening to give them more time to prepare. And we wonder why our education system sucks.
We go local for our last award.
We're giving a way-to-stand-up-to-time-and-place-free-speech-ordinances LAUREL to Ellas Anthony McDaniel for getting arrested on the Bo Diddley Community Plaza named for his father.
Surely, an if-the-park-or-public-place-is-named-for-the-descendant-of-the-person-inhabiting-the-area exception could be made, right?
Have a fun and safe weekend, and be sure to check back next week!
