For this installment of the Alligator's weekly tradition, we're turning over a new leaf.
We are not going to make fun of anyone or anything.
We're just going to talk about good things that people have done this week.
We're going to point out all those out there who are trying to make a difference in the world.
That's why we're proud to present this week's who-are-we-kidding edition of...
Darts & Laurels
First, we throw a math-and-science-and-math-and-science-and-math-and-science DART to Gov. Rick Scott for his plan to reduce the state's emphasis on liberal arts programs.
Where in the hell are these politicians getting the idea that math and science are the key to prosperity? Even in the world of empty talking points, this kind of babble is too much.
Steve Jobs didn't even need college to make technological innovations.
Next, we give a keepin'-it-calm-and-peaceful LAUREL to Occupy Gainesville.
We appreciate your peaceful enthusiasm and hope that your protests occur without any problems.
We will also be throwing a sometimes-change-is-not-a-good-thing DART to Newberry for trying to steal the fairgrounds from Gainesville.
Why waste the money for a change that nobody seems to want?
Although we must place some blame on our next award winner for allowing these monstrosities campus, we decided that, overall, UF deserved a now-we-can-all-go-around-campus-without-wondering-whether-someone-is-a-damn-statue LAUREL for removing the random statues from campus this week.
Now people can have fun imitating the statues and freaking out those who didn't know they were removed.
And, of course, we cannot end this week without throwing a we-hope-this-doesn't-happen-again DART to UF Student Government for blowing this entire election process. We hope that students remember all that has happened next semester.
And to our readers who seem to think that we are simultaneously pro-Unite and pro-Students Party: We have not endorsed a single candidate or party this year.
We have been highly critical of this entire situation and have only asked that people care about this issue and that processes are fair.
For our last award, we give an at-least-UF-has-something-good-to-contribute-to-the-SEC LAUREL to Gabrielle Rushing and Jessica Bentley for their upcoming appearance in Playboy's "Girls of the SEC" issue. Way to represent.
Have a fun and safe weekend, and be sure to check back next week.
