With every passing day, it becomes clearer that nothing will stop the Republican Party from living up to Jack Kennedy's "circus elephant" characterization. On the national level, a clown car full of jokers, white sepulchers and those named Michele Bachmann continue to wallow in their own intellectual feces.
Here in the Sunshine State, we have a criminal-in-chief and a herd of minions who are hell-bent in starving our state into a privatized penal colony.
You would think Alachua County, given its reputation as a protector of hippies, godless commies and those who have an independent thought, couldn't possibly pull off the Horrid Trinity.
But glory be to our lord and savior Ronald Reagan, Stafford Jones and the Alachua County Republican Party have pulled off the Triple Crown as they have invited Ted Nugent to bestow local Republicans with his flawless insight into the political process at a party event scheduled to take place in the fall.
For those of you playing the home game, this is the same Ted Nugent who politely suggested that Hillary Clinton, whom he eloquently referred to as a "worthless bitch," ride a machine gun into the sunset like a pony.
Aren't you excited to hear what fiscal revelations the "Motor City Madman" will bestow on our bastion of teabagger intellectuals.
No? Neither are we. In the words of a great conservative philosopher, it's time to for Ted and Republicans to "turn the page."
(Editor's Note: You may cut our funding and our rights, but you will never cut our right to make corny classic rock puns!)
