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Monday, November 25, 2024

Pryor, Panda & other musings from a Mouth From the South

Joe Schad’s wet dream has become Ohio State’s nightmare.

It seems every day brings a new set of rampant allegations. At this point, all that’s missing are rumors of eight balls and hookers.

The question was when, not if, Terrelle Pryor would leave school. After brazenly breaking multiple NCAA rules, the shamed quarterback exited as loudly as he entered. “All eyes on me.”

As I’ve stated before, the NCAA has a deep hand these sagas, but this particular situation is getting ugly, quick. Which stain lasts longer, tattoo ink or the removal of championships, records and accolades?

It may take so long for the dust to settle in Columbus that the Joads could be stuck there forever while Urban is tending to greener pastures. 

Lastly, the lost irony of the whole OSU Cover-up Gate is ole’ scallywag Bobby Petrino must be fuming that the even older shyster Jim Tressell was allowed to saddle up the boys for one last rodeo to finally trump an SEC school.

 

*****

Before the season, God must have wagered heavy money on the No. 1 Gators baseball team getting back to the College World Series, because damn, Florida has received some downright fortunate draws.

No doubt, the Gators have a great team, but Florida rolled through the SEC Tournament after avoiding South Carolina and playing Vandy just once. Then, the NCAA elected to put UF’s latest whipping boy in the Gainesville Regional. While Florida was dismantling Miami —  again — Mississippi State was upsetting Georgia Tech.

Coach Kevin O’Sullivan couldn’t have scripted a better first three acts.  The only potential drama this weekend will be what happens if UF and MSU split the first two Super Regional games and Sully has to decide whether to pitch Brian Johnson or Alex Panteliodis.

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My take: Panda, by a dozen bamboo sticks. While Johnson has been a horse all season, Panteliodis is actually hitting his stride. The lefty has allowed just a single run in 12 postseason innings. Before toeing the company line and saying he’ll do whatever is best for the team, the junior admitted Wednesday he’s much more suited to start and pitch on a set routine. Thing is, Sully recognizes this too. If Panda doesn’t start, then the Gators effectively eliminate one of their hottest arms from the equation, barring injury or marathon contest. O’Sullivan knows his players much better than me, but I’d keep Johnson in the ‘pen this weekend.

*****

There’s a battle going on right now, and I’m not talking about the struggle of 10,000 comedians fighting over 100,000 Weiner jokes.

Media mouthpieces from all sides are lining up to either demonize or defend LeBron James.

It’s sad really. A former alligatorSports alum (Gregg Doyel) asks one question too many and boom! A riot across the blogosphere nearly breaks out.

I did love the King’s response in Game 4 though, you know, publicly ceding his throne with a single fourth quarter shot. I’m all for team basketball, but neither Magic Johnson nor Bill Russell ever turned into Christian Bale from “The Prestige.”  Dude better cut the disappearing act tonight or else his shrinkage will elicit more water-cooler jeering than Costanza’s.

*****

Kelsey Bruder just inserted another conjunction after sort-of, but not really, complementing Arizona State, followed immediately by a thrashing of the umpires.

I watched Game 1 and understand the senior’s postgame frustration. Home plate ump Chris Drumm shrunk on the game’s biggest stage similarly to, well, LeBron on Tuesday night.

But — a word that can often times be used as a tricky juxtaposition — Arizona State knocked the snot out of Florida. The Gators were nothing more than a doormat the Sun Devils wiped their feet on toward a second national title in four seasons.  After losing 14-4 — FOURTEEN to FOUR — Monday, Bruder had the audacity to question the umpiring multiple times while imploring the media to not twist her words. This is like being misquoted in an autobiography. Sometimes, I just don’t get it.

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