You think he would have learned from his countless role models.
You think the former president could have warned him of avoiding sexual depravity in politics.
Kids, "serial sexting" is wrong. It's no joke.
And because of it, Anthony Weiner is off to rehab with Amy Winehouse singing vocals.
Weiner went to Bill Clinton for some help, and I don't blame him. Bill's been through this rodeo once before, and he made it out thanks to a couple of witty catchphrases.
Tell me you wouldn't buy a Slick Willie presidential pull-string talking doll. Believe me, I'd pull that string until it broke just to hear another "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
And yet, I could not care less about all this drama.
It's not the moral aspect of Weinergate that pisses me off. I am more upset that he had the time to do these things.
The problem with American politics is that people are more concerned with the media rush of celebrity scandal. There would be less buzz if Pauly D posted his GTL-loving genitalia on Twitter, because it would be expected.
We hold up politicians to a higher ideal as if they aren't complete pieces of trash, but is anyone really surprised?
As if sexual scandals in politics are anything new. We don't look at these things hoping to enact change; we look at them to cast blame and ruin peoples' lives. People like watching scandals to make their lives seem better by comparison.
The problem is that this mentality is seeping through the cracks of reality TV into other media outlets.
Or perhaps this is from where they originally spawned: political intrigue.
Ever hear that Thomas Jefferson had an affair with one of his slaves?
You probably have.
You know what's funny though? When rumors first developed around this conspiracy, they were immediately dismissed.
You know why?
Because Jefferson was the author of the Declaration of Independence, dictated the Louisiana Purchase, and beat the living piss out of some pirates in North Africa.
The fact that he was a badass and was making the United States better completely drowned out any personal issues.
If a man buys 800,000 square miles of land for 15 million dollars, let the man have sex with his slave after his wife's death in peace. Hell, give him a weekend in the Bahamas with a pile of hookers buried underneath a mountain of blow and PCP.
Merit used to mean something in the United States, and personal lives used to be left well enough alone.
I am not defending infidelity. I think making a vow to be loyal to someone forever and then cheating on them is as bad as shooting someone in the dick.
There is nothing illegal about cheating on your wife. You are a piece of shit for doing it, but there is nothing illegal about it.
But I also think politicians have a job to attend to, and the greater good of the American people is more important than a politician's personal fidelity.
Today, politicians don't do anything besides bitch at each other in a big auditorium for hours and call it a day. Media outlets have very little on which to focus other than scandalous stories because they can't cover real breakthroughs in political progress.
So maybe it is appropriate that political scandals are top news stories of the day.
Or maybe politicians should just do their f****** jobs so we have something better to talk about.
Shea Ford is a psychology senior at UF. His column appears on Tuesdays.
