It's not you, it's me.
Well, with breakup excuses like this, I sincerely hope it's neither of us.
When you're newly dumped and perpetually confused, it's hard to pinpoint what went wrong - especially if the supposed reason the love was so wrong doesn't sound the least bit right.
I've hit UF in search of confessions when you, or someone you know, meant well enough, but had to stop a less-than-perfect relationship dead in its tracks. Tacky wardrobes, baseball preferences and incestuous nightmares were deal breakers you just couldn't ignore.
Rachel, theater senior
After spending months working at a long-distance relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Rachel returned home to Miami for the entire summer in hopes of catching up on lost time with her love. What she got was a breakup, or more so, a poorly executed lie: "You're too far away from me. You'll be here all summer, but then you'll have to leave again. That's too far away."
Kelly, communications disorder senior
Everyone loves a wholesome sports rivalry, but there's no place for a vigorous battle like that in a romance. The classic baseball divide seems to have interrupted one of Kelly's friend's relationships, resulting in a grand slam of a breakup. "They hadn't had the ‘baseball conversation' yet, and she wore a Yankee shirt. He's supported the Boston Red Sox from the beginning. He immediately broke up with her."
Jordan, communications disorders sophomore
Brotherly love is a beautiful thing, but let's keep strictly a family matter, please? Jordan said her friend couldn't move past the lackluster romantic connection she had with an old, and apparently, mundane flame. What happens when it's time to get down with your lover, but it feels like he's from the same mother? "She said it was like kissing her brother. They felt like relatives, and it never felt like they were dating."
Kaitlynn, public relations sophomore
When you dump someone, it's typically without his or her consent, but one of Kaitlynn's friends had a hard time letting go of a boyfriend that insisted on holding on. In fact, he demanded otherwise.
"She tried to break up with him, and he said ‘No, let's keep at it.' I think they went on one more date, but she ended up breaking up with him again."
David Williams, public relations freshman
It was just a regular trip to Steak and Shake for David, who stumbled upon a smashed phone and snooped to find a text conversation he didn't ask for. A breakup happened a few minutes before his discovery, and David decided to call one-half of the former relationship, entitled "Babe" on the phone's contact list, to see if everything was alright. "I called to see if everything was okay, and she thought I was messing with her. She was so mad. I guess that explained the smashed phone screen."
Nathaniel, English sophomore
For some people, a breakup is catastrophic because they have nothing else to compare it to. Nathaniel's friend wasn't paying attention as he crossed the street, breaking one of the cardinal rules of being a pedestrian. It's understandable, though, because he was in the middle of being dumped. One swift car hit ironically helped soften the blow of losing his current girlfriend. (FYI: His friend is in perfect condition.)
"She took the opportunity to give him the bad news. He was hit by the car and she continued to break up with him."
Lauren, telecommunications freshman
Lauren considered her friends to be fashionable, but apparently their boyfriends disagreed. After eight months of dating, one of her friends was temporarily broken up with because she didn't meet her boyfriend's model standards for fashion and style. "He told her she doesn't dress sexy enough for him. They ended up getting back together, but he broke up with her for that reason at one time."
Jessica, public relations freshman
If you go to the same high school, it's nearly impossible to avoid someone. Jessica's friend lied about moving to the Philippines, and hoped a summer apart from her recent ex would help him forget the ugly truth. Guess not. They didn't miraculously change schools, and on her first day back she had to face her decision. "He knew she lied when she returned after summer ended."
Yami Conde, political science freshman
It's your worst nightmare and your tackiest goodbye. Facebook is no place for breaking up, but there aren't any rules against it. Yami had a friend who assumed she was in a happy relationship for seven months until she logged into Facebook and received an unexpected notification - a short, sweet and to-the-point message about how it "just wasn't working anymore."
"Totally dumped over Facebook, even after months together."
Anthony , computer engineering freshman
During his freshman year of high school, Anthony thought he found someone good. Even though she was all about PDA, it seems secretive relationships were more his new girlfriend's thing. After a few weeks of dating, Anthony was dumped because it was understood that his relationship was supposed to remain under wraps.
"I told a few friends, so she broke up with me because ‘it was only supposed to be us who knew about it.' I don't know."
