Our friends up north may be buried in feet of snow, but we’ve got avalanches of a different sort on our hands. February brings with it a cascade of papers, exams and projects designed to clog our rooms with a blizzard of notes and handouts. As we dig ourselves out, we bring you the we’re-shaking-because-of-our-caffeine-dependency-not-the-weather edition of...Darts & Laurels.
We’re not the only ones with a debilitating addiction, though.
Charlie Sheen is back in rehab, putting his show “Two and a Half Men” on hiatus. While we applaud anything that rids us of that sad excuse for a sitcom, we’re launching a life’s-imitating-art-with-this-Ferris-Bueller-bad-boy DART at Charlie Sheen. His inability to control himself means his crew is out of work and his fans out of episodes to watch.
They could always switch to the news.
For a week, the story that’s dominated most national and international outlets is the revolt in Egypt. With that much attention, media organizations sent journalists to investigate the riots. However, reporters are being detained and being forced to cough up their cameras as they record history in the making.
For harming our brethren, both foreign and American, we’re firing a messing-with-the-media-is-a-surefire-way-to-piss-off-protesters-even-more DART at the Egyptian authorities.
They sure aren’t winning any Nobel Peace Prizes. But WikiLeaks might.
A Norwegian lawmaker nominated the website for the award because it has exposed war crimes and corruption. He says anyone keeping governments accountable in this way deserves a prize.
For recognizing the role the Internet can play in making the world more peaceful, we’re giving a maybe-we-shouldn’t-shoot-the-messenger-after-all LAUREL to Snorre Valen. The site probably won’t win, but it’s a step in the right direction.
Embracing technology can be a good idea, especially when it can help the environment a little. That’s why we roll our eyes every time a new Yellow Pages shows up on our doorstep and why we were happy to hear 1.5 million of the obsolete books may stop making their all-too-quick trips into trash cans.
For considering making telephone books an opt-in publication, we’re sending a LAUREL to San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors President David Chiu.
While his proposed legislation may raise the issue of constitutionality, it won’t come to rival the debate over health care reform. We’ve come to accept that we have to give the rarest award, a here-we-go-again LART, to Judge Roger Vinson, who deemed the law’s individual mandate unconstitutional.
We wanted to give him a laurel for his careful legal consideration of the situation with an eye on our rights, but we couldn’t help but consider a dart for reminding us how difficult it will be to fix a broken system with warring parties in office.
It’s giving us headaches thinking about it.
For lightening our mood, we’re giving a silhouetted LAUREL to Punxsutawney Phil’s shadow.
Thanks for taking Wednesday off.
Until next time, remember that spring is around the corner, Gators. A little groundhog told us so.
