Love is in the air — or is it those droplets of water that can’t decide if they’re rain or fog? Either way, Valentine’s Day is Monday.
Whether you’re looking forward to cuddling or bouts of self-loathing, buying cards or complaining about the commercialization of human emotion, we’ve got something to match your mood. Settle in for the even-with-all-your-angry-letters-we-know-you-still-love-us edition of...Darts & Laurels.
Various news outlets and the president himself got us to turn our eyes back to Egypt on Thursday. The Egyptian president was expected to step down from his office; instead, he tried to placate protesters wound up on two weeks of ire by making small concessions of power. We favor compromise in many cases, but this isn’t one of them. We’re chucking a we-thought-we-were-bad-at-taking-a-hint DART to Hosni Mubarak. Talk about a bait and switch.
Detroit’s government is also letting its citizens down — but we’re not focusing on any political problems. Instead, we’re disappointed about the city’s lack of a RoboCop statue.
Detroit was rumored to be considering the monument, but Mayor Dave Bing shot down the idea via Twitter. We don’t care.
We’re giving a galvanized steel you-almost-made-us-want-to-visit-the-city-we-most-associate-with-tangible-hopelessness LAUREL to donors for a privately purchased RoboCop statue. Their prime directive: making public art awesome.
If you’re like us and consider playing the air guitar whenever a great song comes on, sit down. We’ve got some bad news for you.
Collegiate rights of passage vary for each generation, but when we look back, one of ours consisted of fumbling with a plastic guitar-shaped controller, furiously hitting colored buttons with the left hand and clicking a lever with the right.
That’s why we felt a little empty when we heard one of our favorite video game series was ending. For reviving an interest in classic rock and letting us to play in the pretend spotlight, we’re handing a hold-on-while-we-grab-our-lighters LAUREL to “Guitar Hero” creator Activision. Thanks for giving us another reason to laugh at ourselves and our friends.
Of course, Gainesville’s preferred way of getting people to giggle at one another is the bottle. But our drinking problem could be worse: we could be living in Scotland, where the BrewDog firm has created the latest ridiculously expensive beverage.
For inventing a beverage that comes in an 11-ounce bottle but can push you over the legal limit in a gulp, we’re throwing an it’s-a-red-flag-when-your-beer-needs-a-resealable-cap DART at Sink the Bismarck beer. They get props for the name, though.
Although the debate is heated and will continue for a while, we’d like to give a thanks-for-banding-together-on-an-issue LAUREL to UF Student Senate for voting to oppose Florida Senate Bill 234. While we understand the argument for Second Amendment rights, we are worried that the presence of legally obtained firearms on campus would lead to those guns falling into the wrong hands more frequently.
That’s your weekly rundown. Go enjoy some chocolate and whatever those candy hearts are made of.
