Ah…the college mascot.
For years they have colored sidelines across America, exciting crowds with their amusing antics and T-shirt guns.
What would a college sports game be without a colorful, overly energetic creature flailing along the sidelines?
They inspire apparel, cheers, and team spirit for college football fans nationwide while instilling awe and fear in the opposing team.
Well, at least some of them do. For schools such as Oregon and Oklahoma, I have to say I admire the effort it must take to maintain school spirit.
Now, I understand you may think your Ducks and Sooners are extremely threatening, so it is with much remorse that I relay this disappointing news: Those mascots suck.
Seriously, out of all of the fang-baring, biting and poisonous creatures out there, could you not pick something better?
For universities large and small, the mascot operates as the PR unit of the school, and for some the job is easier than others. Smack talk from the University of Texas’s Bevo the Longhorn is certainly more intimidating than that from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s Herbie Husker.
Schools with nonthreatening mascots are at a much lower level of ferocity when it comes to intimidating foes, and the burden of defending their school’s name falls upon the students.
When your mascot is only entertaining ironically, I cannot help but assume it’s a bit of a damper on school pride, as much as the Minnesota Golden Gophers try to convince us otherwise.
Now, in the spirit of thwarting mascots, it is necessary to introduce perhaps college’s worst mascot of all time.
Everybody please rise to your feet for OTTO THE…Orange?
Yep, that’s right.
Syracuse proudly (ehh) boasts Otto the Orange as their symbol of power and, well, it’s a fruit. A fruit has no threatening, admirable or even amusing qualities. An honorable mention to you, Syracuse, for bearing the burden of such a less-than- menacing mascot.
One has to wonder, were some schools’ founders drunk when they were establishing their institution? Oranges, wagons and ducks certainly sound like funny jokes, but perhaps the school’s foundation is left scratching its head as years elapse and the hilarity wears off.
Of course, not even the most awkward of mascots can devalue an academically or athletically sound school (Yes, I’m looking at you Alabama. Notice that your battle cry has nothing to do with your elephant mascot). Only so much pride is knocked with a less -than-intimidating mascot.
All that really matters is that a university bands together behind a symbol, and through it they unite and assemble school pride.
However, one does have to wonder how Ohio State University really feels about their prized nut, Brutus Buckeye, or how proud the University of California, Santa Cruz really is of Sammy the Banana Slug.
Perhaps it doesn’t matter and perhaps it does, and for now the lucky schools with daunting mascots (ahem, Gators) can enjoy a chuckle on behalf of the mascots who try so hard, yet fall so short.
Laura Ellermeyer is a finance major.
