We here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column wish it was Nov. 27 already.
We know it’s just one week away, but we just can’t wait that long for Florida and FSU.
But maybe you can, maybe you’re kind of nervous about the Seminoles snapping that streak. So, for just today, let’s forget about that game and ponder another interstate rivalry.
We are intrigued by this week’s North Carolina-N.C. State matchup. The two schools might not have the same reputation as the two from the Gunshine State, but it means a lot to the ACC standings.
We left it to two alligatorSports columnists to debate the game.
NC State (+2.5) will cover the spreads because …
It’s basketball season in Chapel Hill. Tyler thinks he knows everything about UNC because he spent a summer working for Baseball America in Chapel Hill.
But while he we falling in love with the ‘Heels he forgot to pay attention to his job, otherwise he would know about NC State quarterback Russell Wilson, who also plays second base for the Wolfpack. He will easily outplay T.J. Yikes and whoever else isn’t suspended for taking improper benefits this week for Tyler’s beloved UNC.
— KYLE MAISTRI
UNC (-2.5) will win because …
The Tar Heels just have so much more to play for.
Have you been to Chapel Hill? It’s like a utopian society, where every article of clothing is baby blue and the music of sweet baby James Taylor follows you.
On Saturday morning, every UNC student will don their finest suits and dresses from Julian’s Shop and head to Four Corners, where my girl Jocelyn will get them good and drunk as they recite pregame prayers to Michael Jordan and Dean Smith.
They will then watch Butch Davis guide the ‘Heels to victory, eat a postgame snack at Time-Out, catch a $1 movie at The Varsity and finally go toast T.J. Yates.
On Saturday, beauty is spelled U-N-C.
— TYLER JETT
Now on to the picks!
In first with a 60-48 record is GatorBait.net’s Keith “Girls my age scare me” Niebuhr, who confessed he would be attracted to a nice dancing instructor if not for “those wild eyes that every woman above 30 has.” Those “wild eyes” are what they look like when they aren’t masked by all the excessive makeup teenagers wear, Keith.
Inching closer with a record of 55-53 is alligatorSports assistant editor Tyler “I love America” Jett, who did his best white trash impression this week with a ragged shirt, jorts and a Nascar hat for an office theme night. He got a little too into it when he showed up at Leonardo’s and asked for the all-white pizza.
In third with a record of 54-54 is the Miami Herald’s Joe “Distance doesn’t dampen my hatred” Goodman, who took a brief break from his Miami Heat coverage to write a column saying Urban Meyer is a waste of money and then picked Appalachian State to win straight up. Next week, he’ll kidnap Albert.
In a two-way tie for fourth with a record of 53-55 is alligatorSports editor Anthony “That path only leads to coke and abusive boyfriends” Chiang, who’ll return to Miami for Thanksgiving with strong words for his family after they let his little sister land a modeling gig. Give ‘em the same intimidating face you gave that 12-year-old who tried to ask her to a movie and they’re sure to fold.
Tied with Chiang is alligatorSports’ Kyle “QB-1” Maistri, who is looking to parlay his flag football skills into a 7-on-7 competition against Florida’s skill players. Kyle is usually pretty laid back, but when he gets under center he morphs into an intense field general. Watch out, John Brantley and the Funky Bunch.
And in sixth place with a 51-57 record is The Gainesville Sun’s Edward “Guys and Dolls” Aschoff, who confessed this week to not watching his beloved Carolina Panthers’ lone Super Bowl appearance because he was performing in a high school play. We understand. You don’t just turn down a role like Harry the Horse.
In half-assed, second-to-last place with a 50-58 record is alligatorSports’ Mike “I’ll take ‘What is winning gift cards’ for $1,000” McCall, who records and studies every episode of “Jeopardy.” That habit paid off this week at Applebee’s, where Mikey won a trivia competition for the first time ever. Congratulations, you’re now 25 Apple-Bucks richer.
And in dead-ass last place with a piss-poor record of 48-60 is FightinGators.com’s Cody “Some people just don’t appreciate prodigies” Jones, who was beside himself upon learning that Jason Heyward did NOT win rookie of the year. That’s one less newspaper clip for Cody to add to his “Hey Arnold”-like shrine.
