Never fear, Gators. If any of you were musing on your sexual morality and overall human decency and/or worth while contemplating a trip to confessional after your purchase of a box of Trojans, don’t you worry.
For the first time in the history of Catholicism, sticking it to Jesus and the Man Upstairs, Pope Benedict XVI said condom use can, in fact, be justified in some cases.
But only if you’re making people pay you to have sex.
Pope Benny, the same guy dealing with one huge Catholic sex scandal after the next, said he’s still sticking to centuries of Church doctrine by not overriding Jesus’ apparent abhorrence of birth control the Catholic Church has said is “not a real or moral solution,” but rather the Vatican is effectively telling male prostitutes to wrap it up.
With its statement that’s sure to put a few nuns’ habits in a tizzy, the Vatican is still trying to recover from Benedict’s recent verbal blunder when, en route to AIDS-decimated Africa, the current pope said condoms did not help prevent the spread of HIV.
We can already hear you groaning.
With its admission of the acceptable use of condoms by male prostitutes, the Catholic Church has, perhaps, succeeded in distancing itself even further from the general populace.
We realize the Vatican and the holiest of all holy people detest any form of birth control for the possible rejection of the formation of one of God’s children, but the teachings of abstinence-only sex education only serves as an enormous detriment.
And to say we were surprised to see the pope say condom use was acceptable for male prostitutes but not the average citizen would be a bit of an understatement.
Rather than taking the opportunity to reaffirm the rejection of prostitution and acknowledge the dangers of HIV by recommending a more modern approach to sexual protection, the pope would rather encourage his children to continue to have unprotected sex.
The Editorial Board might not be the most holy of entities, but at least one of us would consider ourselves down with the G-O-D. But what we can all safely agree on is the anachronistic teachings of the Vatican and their irrelevance in the modern day.
By continuing to discourage the use of condoms, much to the dismay of international public health officials, the pope has effectively encouraged the spread of sexual diseases and the continuing worldly evil of overpopulation.
As we said, we might not be the biggest winner in Jeopardy’s “The Bible” category, but we can’t imagine why an all-loving pope would want to see his flock exposed to debilitating diseases and decreased economic conditions at the hands of an already-established overpopulation crisis.
Yes, we realize sex without the intent to procreate is one of those sin things, but so is eating shrimp or wearing a sweater made of wool and cotton.
Yes, we realize the biblical intention of sex is to have a child, but the Vatican should effectively examine its policies and their effects.
What’s the greater of two evils — a loving, committed couple having protected sex or an (obviously married) couple having unprotected sex and producing another unwanted child in the economically dilapidated Bangladesh that’s already facing greater economic and social strains at the hands of overpopulation, thereby exposing one of God’s children to a life of tribulations and hardships?
It’s time to educate your flock, Benny. Male prostitutes aren’t the only ones who should be using condoms.
