What is it about the words ‘‘I’m sorry” that makes it impossible to repeat them?
Humans can fly to the moon, explore deep sea volcanoes and make a tomato taste like a banana, but when it comes to apologizing all hope seems to be lost in uttering those simple words.
Pride takes precedence over rationality.
Arguments are to relationships what icebergs were to the Titanic, and apologies are the rafts that can safely usher us ashore.
But we often choose to sink and refuse the safety of the words “I’m sorry.”
Usually while arguing there’s a split second when we realize the obvious stupidity of the argument, when we realize we’re wrong, when we realize we’re hypersensitive.
Even after realizing all of this, we avoid apologizing almost as much as we avoid mixing beer and liquor.
Apologies require backbone, so simply saying “I’m sorry” is never enough to cement forgiveness. You need to know what you want out of the apology because if not, you’ll end up with a lot you don’t.
And, perhaps, that’s what makes apologizing so difficult.
Without purpose, apologies are just empty words that provide no resolutions.
Sure, apologies aren’t always necessary.
Sometimes they’re overlooked as unnecessary or irrelevant.
They’re often thrown into a conversation as a sarcastic attempt to mock someone.
However, the best way to apologize is to do it sincerely.
I’m sure at this point I’m coming across like a sappy Hallmark card.
But it wasn’t until recently that I understood how necessary apologies really were.
In typical argument pattern, I realized halfway through I was not only wrong but also at fault for the whole thing.
So, almost instantly, I apologized, which did nothing to aid my case.
Time supposedly heals all, but letting the problem sulk and linger is not one of my favorite things to do.
I like handling problems when they arise. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid — better done quickly. However, sometimes it’s better to wait and properly realize why an apology is needed because if you rush an apology you risk sounding insincere.
So I guess this is how it feels to learn a lesson.
Sure, my life currently feels like a “Chicken Soup for the Soul” book marked with stories of guilt and forgiveness, but at least I took the time and apologized.
Obviously, I can’t apologize for everything I’ve ever done wrong; that would exceed my word limit and various issues of this newspaper.
But I can start with one simple apology.
So if you are reading this and you feel like I’ve done you wrong, which I probably have, just know one thing: I’m sorry.
Hassan Casanova is a third-year family, youth and community science student at Santa Fe College. His column appears every Friday.
