Let’s have a big round of applause for mediocrity, UF’s new area of excellence. After watching Saturday’s game, I was struck with a dilemma: Where will I now derive my pride in my choice of higher learning?
After Steve Addazio and the Gators successfully completed eroding my confidence in the football program Saturday night, I tried to find an area where UF stands high above the rest. Little did I realize at the time what an endeavor this would be.
Academic distinction certainly isn’t our forte. Though being accepted to UF was a considerable personal victory for me, it seems like every other person I talk to used UF as their safety school for the hoity-toity private institutions that churn out lawyers, doctors and politicians faster than midtown churns out drunk fratboys on a Thursday night. While we may have cutting edge research and development programs in medicine and all kinds of engineering, we never seem to rise above the glass ceiling that exists for us as a public school — at least, if we do, we don’t get enough credit for it.
So, if we seem to be lacking in the standings in academia, certainly we can conversely win some recognition in the party school category.
Apparently not, as Georgia dominates the Princeton Review’s Party rankings, and we’re-WHAT?! We’re seventh!? How is this possible? I was assured by my father, who attended this fine institution based solely on its party school status, that I would be getting lots of flak for attending such a wild school. Now it would appear that even the most tenuous means of distinguishing ourselves from the gray sea of universities is beyond our scaly grasp.
But, perhaps, this opens the door to even more ridiculous attempts at uniqueness.
A couple weeks ago I was introducing myself to a girl from JMU. What is JMU you may ask? I had to feel bad because I didn’t know it was James Madison University. What was more disturbing was the blank look I go from her when I explained I went to UF. I actually had to give our prestigious university’s full name. What kind of school do we go to when just giving the initials isn’t enough?
Maybe next time when I introduce UF and I get yet another blank stare, I’ll throw in that we graduated the fine individual that coined the phrase that is used nationwide as a protest against law enforcement’s use of electric shock deterrence.
Even better, I could appeal to those in the hate-fueled Internet community by referencing the former Alligator columnist/law school student/public office candidate who recently shot to reddit.com fame in what can only be called a blunder of biblical proportions. By the way Bryguy, thanks for opening up the previously crowded column race and for reinforcing the tremendous faith I already had in political candidates.
So where do we get recognition, Gators? If I was someone who based my self-value solely on the school I went to, I would already be waste-deep in Häagen-Dazs cartons.
Maybe mediocrity itself is a worthy aspiration. Perhaps being content with being in the middle of the pack is the sort of fulfillment through uniformity that Marx dreamed of. I hope so because, at this point, it’s either that or volleyball. Wait, is there a difference?
Nate Rushing is a political science sophomore.
