Facing intense public scrutiny and lower approval ratings than Casey Anthony, Congressional Democrats decided this week to do the one thing that could give them a lift in the polls.
They quit.
By going home early and getting out of Washington, the Democrats in Congress get to sidestep pesky things like passing a budget and deciding whether or not to extend the Bush-era tax cuts.
Maybe they were sick of missing all the new fall shows on TV.
Much more likely, though, is the fact that Democrats couldn’t wait any longer to get out of the way and let the Real Housewives of the Tea Party take center stage.
Christine O’Donnell and Sharron Angle are both running for seats in the United States Senate, and both have won the Republican Party nomination in their respective states after winning Tea Party-fueled upset campaigns.
That both are also insane is a real treat for Americans of every political persuasion.
Angle is like that one crazy aunt in every family, the one who ruins Thanksgiving after drinking too much white wine and making gay slurs at the dinner table. The only real difference is instead of being someone your family conspicuously avoids around the holiday season, she is someone who could potentially be in the U.S. Senate.
Angle is equal parts Good Housekeeping and Taliban, a former substitute teacher who has repeatedly stated rape is God’s plan.
She refuses most interviews, which is a good thing. Looking into her crazy eyes for an extended period of time is like staring directly at the sun, and she routinely struggles to speak without being overtly racist and homophobic.
Christine O’Donnell is a far more palatable insane candidate, mostly because she seems like a less threatening version of Sarah Palin.
She is from Delaware, after all, a state filled with semi-conservative white people who probably do not like to hear O’Donnell once dated a witch and believes evolution is a myth.
If Thomas Jefferson could stop spinning in his grave long enough to get his zombie hands on a working firearm, he would shoot himself in the face out of pure Republican shame.
With the economy in a lurch, the infusion of cash that will come from countless political ads aired during the next month will be a much more direct and effective stimulus than the hornet’s nest of legislation passed last year.
Couple the aforementioned economic bump with these two unstable harpies/potential Senators unleashed and unhinged on the campaign trail, and maybe the Democrats knew what they were doing when they left town a month early.
It’s only going to last a month or so, but right up until the election in November, I have a new favorite show on TV — the Real Housewives of the Tea Party, a hot mess brewed just in time for fall sweeps week.
Tommy Maple is a international communications graduate student. His column appears every Tuesday.
