Growing up we’re taught the very important lesson of determination. We can accomplish anything we put our minds to, we’re told. Our goals are nothing but a few steps away. Our childhood dreams would always come true.
Well, not to sound bitter or anything, but I’m still waiting for the day when my dreams of flying, breathing underwater, owning a talking tiger and having my own unicorn farm come true.
Obviously, I’m not bitter. Not at all.
When we’re children, we’re encouraged by our parents to be whatever we want to be. No matter how ridiculous our dreams may be, they’ve always nurtured them.
At one point in my life I dreamed of becoming a pop star. Of course my parents approved, saying if I worked hard enough anything was possible. The fact that I couldn’t hold a tune to save my life was irrelevant to them.
I’m still waiting for that record deal, by the way.
Our parents don’t realize that by being so encouraging they set us up to fail.
Now before everyone flips out, I’m very thankful for my parents’ encouragement and support. They’ve been nothing but perfect.
But by the time we go through school, we learn the many factors that deter us from our dreams.
Sure, some dreams are halted by personal impediments like allergies, and others are killed by the realization that scrubs will never be flattering, but all childhood dreams come to a crossroad. They either progress or get sent to that imaginary unicorn farm you realized is never going to be built.
Our parents eventually do their job. They raise happy, imaginative children with dreams that will one day lead them to a fulfilled life.
What parents ultimately forget is to be realistic with us. Yes, hard work and perseverance will get you wherever you want to go, but that’s not enough anymore.
Kids are realizing that fulfilling your dreams takes a bit more than hard work and imagination.
Those distant dreams of becoming a top-notch surgeon get replaced by realistic career plans that don’t require ten years of studying, your sanity and your parents’ life savings.
Your dreams become more achievable.
Sure, some kids do go on to be everything they wanted to be and more. Some become doctors, lawyers, clowns. Others become teachers, pilots, astronauts. Yet those few who wanted to become princesses, ninjas, fairies and pirates woke up to find that working at Disney is as close as they’ll ever get.
Imagination is the one thing keeping kids from becoming adults. Once our imagination wears off we become jaded and bitter toward our failed dreams.
Our determination gets replaced with a very adult term: settling.
Settling is to adults what growing up is to kids. We all grow up eventually.
So in time, we ignore that corny saying that encourages us to aim for the stars. Instead, we aim for the ground in hopes of being grounded enough to understand this is life.
Hassan Casanova is a third-year family, youth and community science student at Santa Fe College. His column appears every Friday.
