UF is a big place, and as your unofficial welcoming committee, we’re going to pass along a few tips to help you incoming freshman get accommodated a little quicker than we did.
First off, tell that little voice inside your head to shut up so you can listen to our nickels worth of free advice. We know a lot of you are still high off getting 30 hours of Advanced Placement credit and think you’re going to make it out of here in 3 years, but that’s a horrible idea. Go ahead and take the whole 4 years and sign up for something fun like History of Rock and Roll. Maybe it’ll be a tough sell to your parents, but trust us when we say loading your schedules down with math and science classes is a one-way ticket to dullsville.
Make sure you never carry around a map, either. Unless you are looking for buried treasure, there is really no way to pull off looking cool while carting around a hastily-printed, black and white Google Maps representation of UF campus. Instead, just ask someone to point you in the right direction. It’s a great way to meet new people and drop that freshman timidity. Just make sure to avoid asking anyone dressed as a zombie or Pentecostal zealot — those idiots are just dying for attention.
Remember, never pay any of those people on Turlington Plaza any attention whatsoever. It may be tempting to tell them how wrong and homophobic they are, but they are stuck in their ways and there is nothing you can accomplish by yelling back at them, except encouragment.
Also, learn how to cook something. Anything, really. We know you’re probably used to having mom and dad do that for you, and the adjustment will take some time, but nothing is worse for you in the long run than getting accustomed to running over to Pita Pit or Pizza by the Slice for dinner at 1:30 in the morning. If you can fit in a trip to Publix every few days, you might just be able to spare yourself from gaining that dreaded “Freshman 15.”
Speaking of weight gain, you should probably try to avoid alcohol and drugs for as long as humanly possible. Not only are these substances the gateway to bad decisions, but having anything of the sort in your dorm room is a sure-fire way to crush your dreams of getting into law or medical school after you finish undergrad. Take it from experience, you don’t want your first phone call home to be a tear-filled confession about getting your first strike.
Working hard and staying out of trouble seems the best route for success, but you have no idea where you’ll be four years from now, so be flexible to change. You might be unemployed in a horrible job market with no hope of doing what you want with your life, like everyone’s been predicting for our generation. Or, you might be a beaming med student at one of the nation’s top universities. Or, you might take a year off to relax, travel and see the world before figuring out your life. Anything is possible.
So make sure to have some fun. There’s no point in working so hard toward your future that you can’t enjoy the present. We’re not suggesting that you do out drinking the night before an exam, but we are saying to take the time to schedule in some downtime. Do all the things you want to do while a combination of your parents’ money and Bright Futures scholarship is still footing the bill.
