I already have enough reasons to question the legitimacy of graduating from UF: Ron Zook, Jesse Palmer — The Bachelor, really? — and Mike Mularkey (just because of his name).
I don’t want another reason, but apparently one UF student thinks I do.
Cameron Schmidt, a 22-year-old UF student, was “arrested and charged with trafficking large amounts of marijuana and cocaine late Tuesday night after attempting to run from police officers,” according to an Alligator article Thursday.
Schmidt, after confessing to cocaine possession, told police that he can’t go to jail because he’s in school.
I don’t know what imbecilic twit told him that being a UF student gives him the right to stupidity, but his idiocy is ruining the validity of my future degree.
When did it become part of the college experience to get arrested for drugs? And when did “I’m in school” become the reason that police shouldn’t arrest you?
I get that UF has been considered a party school long before Schmidt thought it would be a nice idea to walk around with a red plastic cup and drugs and a gun in his backpack. And I get that the temptation to get a little bit un-“kosher” at college can be overwhelming, but please, just don’t.
Part of the college experience is learning when not to experiment and when to learn from others’ mistakes.
For the idiots shooting off fireworks aimed at each other Sunday night, I saw you later that night “doing the Technicolor yawn” (AKA puking) before passing out.
UF newbies take notice. You may be new, and this may be your second week at UF, but alcohol-induced blackouts aren’t the way to go.
Jane Not-a-real-person thinks that college is about booze, Adderall and Edward Cullen-like all-nighters. But that is why Ms. Not-a-real-person is gonna be living with her parents until she is 35. And while she is wishing she were as successful as Erin Andrews (a perfectly respectable, smokin’ hot Telecommunications ’00 alum), the rest of us will be interviewing for jobs explaining that UF isn’t just a party school.
And it isn’t just Joe Schmoes who ruin our degrees. Remember J.J.?
Our beloved former Student Body president got himself cited for disorderly conduct by the University Police Department last semester for demanding that SNAP take him to his off-campus home.
Former distinguished-alumnus Jordan Johnson’s response to SNAP’s refusal: “Student Government should pull its funding from this [unknown explicative] program.”
Stuck-up, arrogant drunkards piss all over UF’s reputation faster than Jeff Demps runs a 40-yard dash.
If I wanted to only be known for drinking and saying stupid things (see J.J.’s and Schmidt’s earlier quotes), then I would’ve auditioned for “Jersey Shore.”
Or worse. I would’ve chosen to be a “crimiNOLE,” or I would’ve gone to Thug U in Miami.
I’m not trying to say UF students can’t have fun, or that UF students have to be straight-laced Tebow impersonators. I’m just saying that if you’re going to do something stupid, do it at home, not in public.
Besides, UF students are distracting cops from more important things (like dressing as citizens and walking in front of cars to track the percentage of “Gainesville drivers yielding to pedestrians” or giving tickets to drivers who go 35 mph in a 30 mph zone).
Or legislators could just do the wise thing — legalize drugs, and use that tax money to reduce my tuition costs.
Andrew Pantazi is a journalism senior.
