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Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Apparently some people like Sunday mornings so much that they are trying to bring the experience to Saturday night through Club Glory, a Christian nightclub.

From what we can gather, it might be easier to recreate an eighth-grade social than discover Jesus at the bottom of a whiskey bottle, as it’s going to be an alcohol-free establishment. Unless they have some sort of communion wine, we think “nightclub” might be the wrong word.

It’s difficult for us to wrap our minds around the concept — a Christian experience complete with dim lighting, dance music and people dressed to the nines reveling in their sobriety.

Maybe all those edited versions of albums will see a spike in sales, or, more likely, DC Talk might finally reap the rewards of pioneering Christian rap.

These are all trivial matters though. The real mystery is how a place like this could hope to turn a profit when it appeals to such a limited audience.

Catholics drink, so they won’t be banging down the door to get in. That just leaves Protestants, many sects of which refuse to be in the same room together.

The financial woes could only be solved with some sort of contribution system. Maybe they could pass around a plate or something for donations. Better yet, they should have their regulars chip in a percentage of their yearly earnings to keep the club alive.

It all sounds a little too far removed from what Christianity is all about, and the end result of combining religion and nightlife is a neutered experience worth less than the sum of its parts.

We’re just looking forward to pre-gaming and adding Club Glory to our bar golf roster.

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