I was passing through Midtown last Tuesday evening, and I stopped to watch the live music at The Swamp for a song or two. “Cause it’s the first of May, first of May,” he sang, and I was thinking what a nice voice he had when suddenly – “Outdoor f--king starts today. Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called f--king outside” – my heart started pounding as nervous anger flooded my insides. He dropped the F-bomb in his beautiful melody. As he scanned the audience, his eyes met mine. I felt uncomfortable just witnessing this performance. Maybe I was overreacting, I thought. I decided I’d try to wait it out, hoping the next song would be swear-free and worth staying for. He had a good voice. “I’m going to make this part as vulgar as possible,” he said, and I cringed. I instantly began to change my mind about staying. He said something about “f--king everybody,” and I couldn’t stand listening anymore. I left — no applause from me tonight.
I walked away embarrassed and upset by what I had heard. I realized that I am not desensitized to profanity. At 21 years old, the words still sting my ears. Yes, I went to public middle and high schools and rode the bus and heard my share of foul language from a young age. Yes, I’ve watched R-rated movies. And yes, I have friends who curse. But it still bothers me. Beyond not liking it, I am offended by it. I suppose there is a reason Merriam-Webster describes cursing as obscene language – that which is taboo, impolite, disgusting to the senses, repulsive and abhorrent to morality or virtue.
As you could probably guess, I don’t curse. To me, curse words are dirty, cruel, harsh and unnecessary. As a journalist, I believe words are very powerful and should be used wisely and well. Some may say that cursing is the only effective way to make a point, but I disagree. I think non-expletives can be just as powerful, if not more specific.
To me, hearing a curse word is like catching a glimpse of roadkill as I’m driving – it’s over quickly, but it leaves a bad feeling in my stomach and a sour taste in my mouth. I prefer to avoid it.
You can imagine how tortured I felt when I attended my first Tutoring Zone session last semester, and Matt littered the hours-long business finance review sessions with F-words. It distracted me from the lesson. It angered me. And several of my friends agreed that the cursing at Tutoring Zone was over-the-top and upsetting.
If someone drops a hammer on their toe and they mutter “s--t,” I’m a bit more understanding. Sometimes it’s automatic, unintentional or uncontrollable. That’s fine. But when people consciously make it a point to insert swear words into their conversations, presentations or music, I don’t think there is a justified excuse for it. I know some people are going for the shock factor, desperately trying get an audience’s attention or think it makes them sound “cool,” but those excuses are pretty lousy. They just don’t cut it for me.
Although some people may snicker at my sensitivity and my refusal to curse, I hope someone out there respects it. I’ve heard plenty of people say they want to give up cursing. Slipping expletives into your daily conversations might have become your bad habit long ago, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be broken. At the very least, I wish men would hold their tongues around women. I think it’s an all-too-rare gesture of respect to mind your tongue for the sake of others.
Kathryn Stolarz is a journalism senior.
