My friend and I ventured to one of those notorious apartment pool parties last Saturday. We're not exactly regulars, but we wanted to check out the festivities and meet new people. As soon as we arrived, a guy gravitated toward - our sunscreen. Before even introducing himself, he asked to borrow the spray-on sunscreen we were covering ourselves with.
"You're the first girls I've found here with an SPF of more than five," he said with relief as he slathered his sun-baked chest in a liquid UV-shield. "Everyone I asked had tanning oil." This clearly wasn't a pick-up line. He was desperate for some sunscreen. It made me laugh to realize what a rare find it was at a summer pool party. The two seem to go hand in hand to me. At least they always did when I was growing up.
Remember the days when your mom would bring a vat of viscous, white sun lotion to the pool and make you hold off on your cannonball until she finished wiping thick layers of paste onto your face and shoulders? A lot goes wrong when moms aren't there anymore to keep their kids in order.
The sunscreen scavenger offered my of-age friend a whiskey ginger in gratitude for the apparently rare and highly coveted source of skin salvation, which she gladly accepted. That's a pretty decent trade, I said, although sunscreen is probably more expensive per ounce than alcohol. So what's with the sunscreen shortage? No one had forgotten sunglasses, towels or 64-ounce beverage cups, so I'm guessing no one forgot sunscreen or accidentally grabbed tanning oil.
I suppose price is a major turnoff for sunscreen - it rings in at about $8 a bottle depending on the brand. But that would be an easy purchase for many college kids if it was a bottle of alcohol. And GatorWell gives out free packets all year.
We all know the answer rests in vanity. Some people think they look better tan, so they seek an instant tan. Not only do they avoid sunscreen, they baste in tanning oil to make them darken quicker.
But ironically, if you were really concerned about your looks, you would use sunscreen. Because afternoons drenched in frying oil leads to wrinkles and sun spots and dry, scaly skin that no one wants to sport in their 30s and 40s. And pretty soon people will look at you and guess you are 10 or 15 years older than you are.
While I'll admit there is something attractive about having a bit of a sun-kissed, golden glow, I find it gross to see someone's crackling red skin flaking off onto the lounge chair next to me, exposing a tender layer of ghostly white. And certain shades of orange just don't look natural. It's healthy to catch some rays and get a nice dose of Vitamin D, but I've never had a problem achieving either of those things with sunscreen on. People have this misperception that you can't tan if you wear sunscreen. You can tan, you just don't bake and boil as quickly. And when you're 20 shades into the red spectrum on the color wheel, I can't help but look at you and think of a crispy lobster. It's only June. If you haven't achieved your desired tan yet, you have plenty of time to left to acquire some healthy color. And I believe pale is gorgeous too. Look at Anne Hathaway, Scarlett Johansson, Taylor Swift, James Franco, Cory Monteith from "Glee," and all those vampires in the movies.
If only there were as much sunscreen at pool parties as there was alcohol. Then our new acquaintance might have saved himself a couple shades of burn before we arrived to the rescue. Did I mention that skin cancer is the most common cancer in the U.S.? One in five Americans will get it, according to the Skin Cancer Foundation.
So, for the price of a few beers, go buy yourself a bottle of the good stuff and let your skin drink in some protection from cancer, wrinkles, peeling and sunspots. You don't want to be scrounging for sunblock after your skin has already started to burn, and you could attract some hottie who offers you a drink if you lend him your block.
