Summer pool parties include beer, food, music, and girls in bikinis. What more could you ask for? Saturday seemed to be my lucky day, as Gainesville Place hosted its Summer A pool party.
I should have known that my days of partying were over when I found myself lathering up in SPF-45 sunscreen 20 minutes before leaving my apartment. I should have recognized my absolute refusal to get a tan — something that comprises an entire third of some people’s daily routines — as a sign.
After a few minutes aimlessly walking around the pool deck, I decided that I should probably get drunk. I hesitate to call any party that necessitates drinking a good party, but I figured that once I had a few beers I might be willing to make an exception.
I pride myself on knowing a lot about beer, but on a hot day sitting by a pool, I’ll drink anything cold and refreshing. I went straight for the keg.
My first two big cups of foam, however, left a lot to be desired. I made a few rounds of the party looking for the beer keg, but apparently there was a mix-up at the warehouse and we received several kegs of foam by mistake.
Since cold beer wasn’t going to be a part of the picture, I jumped in the pool to cool off. North central Florida, cruel mistress that she is, had the last laugh. The pool was no colder than the air I was trying to escape. I decided to head home.
It isn’t that I don’t like the components of pool parties—far from it. It’s just that so many things that seem great in a single place and time do not add up to the sum of all the parts. If I could go back in time to my years as an underclassman, I’m sure I would love to broil my skin to a deep crimson among the coeds with a plastic cup of foam in my hand. I used to hunger for the opportunity to guzzle a cheap beer in the sunshine. I wish I could take myself back in time because pool parties seem like exactly what I used to be—a lot of fun.
