Do you like it hard, loud and sweaty, surrounded by a dense crowd of bodies slamming together in nasty unison?
I wouldn't take a dance floor any other way, and when you take your late night revelries as seriously as me, you get to know the best spots for shakin' that groove thang.
As a Summer treat, here's the low-down on the best boogie spots this city has to offer, if you're not afraid to get dirty.
Where: the University Club, at 18 E. University Ave.
When: Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights
Who gets in: 18+
What you'll hear: Gay anthems to indie pop ala Lady Gaga and La Roux.
What to wear: Everything fabulous, including David Bowie inspired face-paint.
Gainesville's gay bar opens its doors to everyone, and the free-spirited environment breeds good party behavior. Mondays offer free beer from 11 p.m. - 12 a.m., and brings a straighter crowd. Tuesdays are the hottest new goth gig in G-ville, and Thursdays top the bill with drag shows and a fully-loaded dance floor ‘till the night is closed.
Where: The Neon Liger @ Spannk, Southwest 1st Ave
When: Saturday nights
Who gets in: 18+
What you'll hear: Electro, nu disco, remixes
What to wear: The brightest thing you've got in your closet that shows the most skin. Non-prescription glasses and Keffiyeh are optional.
Liger is the weekend's premiere party-people palace. DJ Vi has put mad money into the light system, transforming the small venue. Vi is always bringing fresh, hot DJs from around the world to guest spot. Admission is free before 11 p.m. when you sign up on facebook. No promise you can walk out the door on your own two legs.
Where: Blue Leapord, Speakeasy, Southwest 1st Ave
When: Wednesday nights
Who gets in: 21+
What you'll hear: Dupstep, electro house, space disco, future funk
What to wear: Classy, yet casual.
The weekend starts early here, and this Liger spin-off is guaranteed to get you in the mingling mood. The best lights of Liger are there but the atmosphere is more demur. Delicious martinis for only $4 and free cover make this night totally irresistible, and of course, the packed dance floor helps you forget it's only hump day.
Where: Eight Seconds, 201 W University Ave.
When: Thursday nights
Who gets in: 18+
What you'll hear: Top 40 country and hip-hop
What to wear: Cowboy boots, cowboy hats, cowboy plaid, chaps?
You've probably seen this place, it's the hulking building painted like a cow. So it doesn't have the mechanical bull anymore, it's still the darn-tootinest place to line dance in the Swamp. Mind your sassafrass, cowboy.
Where: The Atlantic, Northeast 1st Avenue
When: Thursday and Friday nights
Who gets in: 18+
What you'll hear: Subverted indie-pop reworked for a dancefloor, nostalgic rap and booty clap
What to wear: Girls, show your back cleavage. Boys, think effeminate lumberjack.
The Atlantic is an old local favorite. Thursdays are packed to the brim so it's important to get there early or you could be stuck in line 'till closing time. House Party Fridays, a new night, offers live bands followed by tight work on the 1s and 2s. Either night is sure to make you sweat, and dancing on the furniture is totally allowed.
Where: All Night Dance Party, Gainesville Skate Park, 3500 NE Waldo Rd.
When: Once monthly, next one is May 29
Who gets in: Anyone with $5
What you'll hear: A variety of the hardest, dirtiest, funkiest dance music you can handle
What to wear: Pull out all the stops, everything must glow, true fashion champions must be plugged in for full effect.
Half-heartedly do I turn over this party secret. For three months running, ORI Entertainment have thrown a huge, legit rave at the skate park, and it just keeps getting better. Parking is a mess, so think ahead and don't expect to leave before 5 a.m., but the party don't stop 'till the sun rises. Like I said, legit.
So, now you have no excuse to sit at home, wasting your idle time with constructive pursuits like studying. Remember, there's no wrong way to dance, true playas leave the judgments with the jury, and djs hate requests. Now get low.
