Despite being the party of fiscal responsibility, Republicans have gotten into a hot mess over their party’s spending.
In case you missed it, today’s topic is irony.
Who could have predicted that, in this age of epic deficits, Republicans would still manage to do themselves in over outrageous credit card bills and questionable kickbacks to party operatives?
OK, maybe some people could have, but no one could have predicted that the Republican National Committee would treat donors in California to a bondage-themed strip club.
But that’s California, where even tight-fisted Republicans can let loose for a few hours and blow $1,900 watching topless women simulating sex with one another.
In Florida, the Republicans haven’t progressed this far, and have instead relied on the tried-and-true tactic of blowing donor money through old-fashioned cronyism and fraud.
The case in point this time would be Jim Greer, the crony, and his funneling of donor money to a consulting company he owned, the fraud. Greer, the disgraced former chairman of the Republican Party of Florida (RPOF), resigned in February after party members became disillusioned with his supposed plotting to keep Marco Rubio out of the 2010 senate race. Oh, and it turns out some people were also a tad upset with him for using his RPOF credit card like a trucker who just discovered Café Risqué (motto: We Bare All) accepts American Express.
Now, two months later, and Greer is under criminal investigation for his little accounting scheme that masqueraded as a pension.
Actually, Greer’s attorney is much more comfortable calling it hush money, alleging that top RPOF officials signed a deal with Greer stating “all RPOF expenditures made during Chairman Greer’s term as RPOF Chairman were proper, lawful, appropriate...” After the deal was finalized, Greer’s attorney further alleged that RPOF officials, including UF’s very own Mike Haridopolos, the Senate president-designate, offered Greer around $200,000 in hush money to stay quiet about their agreement.
So to recap: Greer funnels donor money to his side company after disastrously handling his party’s finances and his own charge card, is pressured to resign and somehow convinces other RPOF leaders to sign an agreement protecting him from any wrongdoing when chairman of the party. Once these officials realized what an awful public relations disaster would result if Greer leaked out word of the agreement, they allegedly tried to keep him quiet by paying him off.
You couldn’t make this up.
Still, despite all of their squabbling over who charged what and whether strip joints should receive tax exemptions, both the RNC and the RPOF want to make something perfectly clear to the voters: Trust us with your money.
Because, really, if there is a message you want to project right now if you’re the political party espousing fiscal responsibility, it’s the one that says, “What the hell, it’s a charge card. I’m not the one who has to pay for it,” and, “Gee, my party just told millions of Americans to stick it when it comes to health care reform because it doesn’t follow my fiscal principles, but let’s spend $1,900 watching topless women.”
God bless them.
Matthew Christ is a political science sophomore. His columns appear every other Wednesday.
