Starring in a controversial anti-abortion commercial bankrolled by a fundamentalist Christian group, Tim Tebow headlines the first-ever “issue ad” aired on Super Bowl Sunday and has effectively hijacked the pre-Super Bowl hype machine.
The biggest issue I have with this commercial is the tone-deaf nature of the content. The Super Bowl is a time for commercials featuring anthropomorphic animals and partial-male nudity, not hot-button social issues. Pretty much the only time I want to get sentimental with Super Bowl ads is when I ponder the regal Clydesdale.
Shoehorning fundamentalist Christian beliefs into our grand orgy of violence and capitalism is bumbling and tactless.
While I personally suspect that this media maneuver is designed to start into motion the forces that will eventually lead to a paramilitary junta that installs Tebow as president of the Philippines for life, perhaps it is simply a vivid example of the brave new world our Supreme Court has envisioned for us.
When the Supreme Court ruled that corporations and groups no longer had stringent regulations limiting their involvement in the political process, maybe gauche political advertisements during the most expensive time slots of the year were exactly what the Supremes had in mind.
Forcing Americans to think about their personal views on abortion may seem rather jarring to Super Bowl watchers used to GoDaddy.com ads obviously tailored for apple-faced mouth breathers with pressing Web needs, but a far more shocking ad will likely never see the light of day.
President Obama has been feeling the heat over his campaign promises to close the Guantanamo Bay detention center where we hold Muslim people suspected of terrorist ties. Rumor has it that MTV brought out the big Guido guns in an effort to justify the continued use of Cuba as a holding pen for religious zealots.
Titled “Gym/Tan/Call to Prayer,” this 30-second commercial stars some of the more prominent “Jersey Shore” cast members frolicking in the tropical beach prison. The opening shot has Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino in a beachside razor-wire cell dressed in traditional Muslim garb and holding what looks like a copy of the Quran.
As the camera pans out, The Situation opens up his holy book and then keeps unfolding it until the audience sees it is a shiny silver, face-tanning reflector. The Situation sits down on a lounge chair, and Snooki is seated next to him looking content and serene. You can tell it’s her by the orange face peeking out from under the hijab and the overwhelming sense that she is really wanting to make out.
The rest of the Jersey Shore/Guantanamo commercial seems far too controversial for people with even a hint of decency or compassion, and even MTV thought it too incendiary for public airwaves. Muslims are one of the last minority groups to successfully stave off total assimilation into the coarse commercial culture America manufactures like so many Fords and Chevys.
Don’t be surprised, though, when the Jersey Shore “Adhan Abs” DVD hits stores in time for Christmas — with the tagline “Feel the burn and the blessings of Allah wherever you worship or work out.”
Tommy Maple is an international communications graduate student. His columns appear on Thursdays.
