A question for first-years here at UF: How was your semester?
I ask because I hated my freshman fall semester. I wasn’t warming up to UF or Gainesville. I wasn’t meeting anybody who seemed like me. And I felt very lost and rudderless as I began to question why I was even here.
The result was a very whiny, very pouty version of me (well, more pouty) that was generally unpleasant to be around. I’m not being hyperbolic. I’m shocked that anybody I met during that semester is still my friend today, and whenever I run into somebody I haven’t seen since then, the conversation tends to begin by me issuing blanket apologies.
The truth was, I didn’t have any real reason to be miserable, and so being miserable felt selfish and myopic. This, in turn, made me feel even more miserable. And even setting aside the true notion that the opportunity to go to college is something I should feel incredibly fortunate for even having, I know I was luckier than a lot of freshmen: I had a pretty great roommate who put up with my nonsense (I still appreciate it, Jorge), my stack of classes wasn’t too bad, and I had friends who, for reasons not entirely clear to me, still answered their phones at 11 p.m. even though they knew it was my nightly “I’m not good at college!” mope.
But self-awareness doesn’t keep you from feeling bad any more than knowing that a fifth hamburger is a really bad idea doesn’t stop you from loading up your Gator Dining Services to-go box. (My healthy eating habits were about on par with my social skills back then.)
That’s OK, though.
Simply put, if you’re feeling a little unsure of where you’re going and if you’re where you need to be, or if your semester felt too underwhelming or overwhelming, or if the past four months just completely sucked — you’re fine.
Feeling like you haven’t made enough new, awesome friends? Don’t stress — it’s not as if you’ve got a quota to reach. And while you can put yourself in situations where you’re more likely to meet people, making a connection — that is, meeting the right person under the right circumstances — is pretty much out of our control. It’s frustrating, but it’s also comforting to know there’s no point in losing sleep over it.
Attempts to find someone to fall in love with fell flat? Almost everyone has an embarrassing story about making an ass of themselves in a fit of romantic ineptitude. I promise you, your story can’t be too much worse than anyone else’s. (And besides, I’m pretty sure I’ve got you beat. Does your story involve asking someone out using a “Hey Arnold!” quote? OK then.)
Worried that you have no idea what you want out of college? You have time to figure it out. And even if you don’t, it’s not a big deal. Don’t be discouraged by people who seem like they have their collegiate career perfectly mapped out. Chances are, something — a messy breakup, a newly discovered interest — will throw off any precise set of plans. And besides, discovering who you aren’t can be just as important as discovering who you are.
Disappointed that your GPA isn’t as strong as you wanted it to be? Bombing an exam or two isn’t the end of the world, and it’s important to remember that a GPA, or any other number on a report, isn’t a measure of your worth — not now, not ever.
It’s OK to have had a lackluster first semester. Just take what you’ve learned and try to kick some ass next semester — and try to be a little empathetic for people trying to do the same. After all, there’s no such thing as an impractical level of empathy — or rather, if there is, it’s a pretty awesome thing to have.
Joe Dellosa is an advertising senior. His column appears on Tuesdays.
