We know, we know, this is one of the worst college football weeks of the year. Don’t blame us for not having anything to distract you from schoolwork. We here at the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column have done our best to predict this week’s game, but believe us, bad games aren’t any easier to project.
OKLAHOMA WILL COVER THE -6.5 SPREAD BECAUSE … Last year’s matchup between the Sooners and Red Raiders decided the Big 12 South champion and gave Oklahoma the inside track to the national title game.
I wish I could say this year’s game will be as meaningful but it’s not.
Both teams already have four losses and are just trying to fight off mediocrity.
While Landry Jones is no Sam Bradford, DeMarco Murray knows it’s his time to step up.
My team in the alligatorSports Fantasy Challenge was in disarray heading into the first round of the playoffs with running backs Jonathan Dwyer and Joe McKnight on bye weeks, and Jahvid Best still out with a concussion.
Murray made the cut as a replacement, and my team’s hopes of winning the ‘ship is resting on his shoulders. He knows this and will come through for me and the team he actually plays on.
— BOBBY CALLOVI
TEXAS TECH WILL COVER THE +6.5 SPREAD BECAUSE ... It’s really just not Oklahoma’s year. Anytime you lose your Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback and All-American tight end, you have to realize the heavens are against you. Landry Jones stepped in at quarterback and had one of the worst performances of the year against Nebraska -- he completed 44.8 percent of his passes, had no touchdowns and five interceptions for a mighty 63.07 passer rating. This game is going to come down to offenses, and I’m always putting myself in the hands of Mike Leach.
— PHIL KEGLER
Now on to the picks!
Moving atop the leaderboard at 60-49 is Bobby “I’m a big kid now” Callovi, who was so proud of himself for not having to “make a poopy” on the way home from Columbia, S.C. Now, if we could only teach him to change his own diaper...
Falling to second at 59-50 is Kyle “Can you wire some money to my PayPal?” Maistri, who went on a furious eBay shopping spree after finding an old Dante Hall Chiefs’ jersey. Other attempted jersey purchases: Steve Kerr, Mark Price and Tim Hardaway.
The last guy above .500 at 58-51 is the Tampa Tribune’s Mike “We all need to stop walking through the metaphorical sprinkler” DiFerdinando, who proved his manhood by not conforming to societal gender roles and cowering like a little girl after a nearby sprinkler unexpectedly went off. What’s next? Giving up watching football for True Blood?
Coming in at fourth with a 53-56 record is the Gainesville Sun’s Ed “I can’t hold my chicken” Aschoff, who projectile vomited after going to all-you-can-eat wing night. We’re sure DiFer would defend your manhood here.
Rounding out the top five at 51-58 is Mike “I’m starting a revolution” McCall, who is one of 27 people in this country who care about replay in soccer. Keep fighting the good fight, McCall.
Checking in at sixth with a 48-61 record is the Florida Times-Union’s Mike “Write it as bad as you f----- want!” DiRocco, who offered his young correspondent Kyle Maistri that exact piece of advice on his latest story. Some would call him a mentor.
The lowest Alligator guy in seventh with a 47-62 record is Phil “How am I supposed to compete with a terrier?” Kegler, whose girlfriend seems more concerned with getting a new puppy than spending time with him. It’s understandable, Phil’s about as cute as Uga. Too soon?
Beginning a two-way tie for eighth at 46-63 is the Orlando Sentinel’s Jeremy “I like to set the mood” Fowler, who took Ben Volin out for a romantic dinner the other night. He lit some candles, played a little Kenny G and ordered a bottle of wine.
Also sitting in eighth is the Miami Herald’s Joe “Wait, we pick 10 games?” Goodman, who managed to pick both UConn and Notre Dame this week, while withholding his opinion on the LSU-Ole Miss game. We wouldn’t want to go on record with LSU this week either, with the Klan being in town and all.
And continuing to sit in dead-last place but slowly gaining at 44-65 is the Palm Beach Post’s Ben “I became a man 15 years ago today” Volin, who offered up a little bit too much information in his latest Facebook status. Apparently he made the transition from Bernice to Ben on the same day as his 13th birthday. Seems a little early to be making that move, but it sure explains the affinity for anything pink and the violent mood swings.
| BC | KM | MDF | EA | MM | |
| OSU (-12)-Mich | OSU | Mich | Mich | Mich | Mich |
| UL (+11)-USF | UL | USF | USF | USF | UL |
| MSU (+11)-Ark | Ark | Ark | MSU | Ark | MSU |
| OU (-6.5)-TT | OU | TT | OU | TT | OU |
| Conn (+6)-ND | ND | ND | ND | ND | Conn |
| LSU (+4)-Miss | Miss | Miss | LSU | LSU | LSU |
| Cal (+7.5)-Stan | Stan | Stan | Stan | Cal | Cal |
| UK (+9)-UGA | UGA | UGA | UGA | UGA | UK |
| Ore (-6)-Ari | Ore | Ore | Ore | Ore | Ore |
| FIU(+45)-UF | UF | FIU | UF | FIU | FIU |
| MDR | PK | JF | JG | BV | |
| OSU (-12)-Mich | OSU | OSU | OSU | Mich | Mich |
| UL (+11)-USF | USF | UL | USF | UL | USF |
| MSU (+11)-Ark | MSU | MSU | Ark | Ark | Ark |
| OU (-6.5)-TT | OU | TT | OU | TT | TT |
| Conn (+6)-ND | ND | ND | ND | Conn | ND |
| LSU (+4)-Miss | Miss | LSU | Miss | LSU | LSU |
| Cal (+7.5)-Stan | Stan | Cal | Stan | Stan | Cal |
| UK (+9)-UGA | UK | UGA | UGA | UK | UGA |
| Ore (-6)-Ari | Ore | Ore | Ore | Ari | Ari |
| FIU(+45)-UF | FIU | UF | FIU | FIU | FIU |
