In the past, UF bye weeks have also meant a week off from the alligatorSports Brand Picks Column.
This year, we're committed to going hard every week, so you get yet another chance to see us fail miserably at picking 10 games. But first, we've got Phil Kegler and Bobby Callovi debating one of the SEC's best games this weekend, Auburn at Tennessee.
AUBURN WILL COVER THE +1.5 POINT SPREAD BECAUSE … The oddsmakers must have been on some hard drugs when they made this line, and Tennessee has a quarterback who shouldn't be starting even if he was playing JUCO ball. I think Jonathan Crompton celebrates when he eclipses 100 yards passing, something he couldn't do against mighty UCLA. Meanwhile, Auburn - yes, Auburn! - is tied for first in the SEC in total offense, racking up more than 500 yards a game. The Tigers may have gone 5-7 last season, but they are going to run up and down Neyland Stadium, leaving UT D-coordinator Monte Kiffin to ask for volunteers to stop the bleeding.
- PHIL KEGLER
WHY TENNESSEE WILL WIN BY MORE THAN 1.5 POINTS … In this battle between two coaches new to the Southeastern Conference with bad quarterbacks, it will come down to running the ball and playing defense. As Tennessee safety Eric Berry proved against Florida, he is the best defensive player in the country, and more importantly, he doesn't have to worry about tackling Tim Tebow this time. Also, this is a game in which UT coach Lane Kiffin can just try not to get blown out and still have a chance to win as long as Crompton, his quarterback, can complete a few passes.
- BOBBY CALLOVI
Now, on to the picks!
Spending yet another week in the No. 1 spot with a 22-17 record is Mike "Wait, was I supposed to say something?" DiFerdinando, who inexplicably went silent during one of his later takes for our commercial Thursday. DiFer must have been daydreaming about Washington quarterback Jake Locker in his unmentionables.
Continuing the excellence by people named Mike in second with an 18-21 record is Mike "Soccer mom" McCall, who had such fun driving all of us around during the Kentucky trip that he now has a strong desire to use a similar form of transportation to the remainder of UF's road games. He felt so embarrassed when the UF football team didn't want his orange slices and juice boxes.
Checking in at third with a 17-22 record this week is the Miami Herald's Joe "They're just making all this flu stuff up" Goodman, who was playing conspiracy theorist early in the Kentucky game and wondering if Tim Tebow really had the flu. We're not really sure how serious he was, but Tebow's concussion was believable enough for Joe.
Leading a three-way tie for fourth at 16-23 is Ed "Back procedure expert" Aschoff, who must be the only one on the planet still wondering when wide receiver Carl Moore and cornerback Jeremy Brown will return to the playing field.
The middle part of the tie is Bobby "Seriously, I have to poop" Callovi, who spent more time in restrooms across the southeastern United States last weekend than he did actually consuming food. McCall offered to fold down the back seat and change his diaper right there in the Sienna, but Bobby's been potty-trained since freshman year.
Wrapping up the logjam at fourth place is the Orlando Sentinel's Jeremy "Did Tim Tebow just sneeze?" Fowler, who might be giving his most comprehensive coverage of an injury since… well, a few weeks ago when Andre Debose went down. Call him a lot of things, but incomplete isn't one of them.
Beginning a two-way tie for seventh at 15-24 is the Florida Times-Union's Mike "Head-to-head doesn't matter, right?" DiRocco, who inexplicably has undefeated Houston five spots below one-loss Oklahoma State in his most recent AP poll ballot, despite the Cougars' 10-point road win over the Cowboys on Sept. 12. Then again, memory loss is a key sign of aging.
Also sitting in seventh place is Kyle "Wait, where is everybody going?" Maistri, who will be the only one of the five football writers staying in Gainesville this weekend because he doesn't have a girlfriend. He's doing the next best thing - covering UF's volleyball match with beat writers Adam Berry and Anthony Chiang.
Having moved out of the cellar but still sitting in ninth at 13-26 is Phil "What? I can't hear you" Kegler, who has perfected the art of using headphones to avoid unwanted conversation in the office. What he doesn't know is that we're never talking to him anyway.
In dead last place with a piss-poor record of 8-31 is the Palm Beach Post's Ben "George Costanza" Volin, who has gone a miserable 1-18 in picking games the last two weeks. Ben, pretend like picking these games is the same as picking up freshman girls at a bar - if your intuition says you have a chance, just go the other way.
| MDF | MM | JG | EA | BC | |
| USF-Cuse (+6.5) | USF | USF | Cuse | USF | Cuse |
| FSU-BC (+4.5) | FSU | BC | FSU | BC | BC |
| Bama-UK (+16) | Bama | Bama | UK | Bama | Bama |
| Miss-Vandy (+9) | Miss | Miss | Vandy | Miss | Miss |
| LSU (+3)-UGA | UGA | UGA | UGA | UGA | LSU |
| GT-MSU (+6) | GT | MSU | MSU | GT | GT |
| OU-UM (+7) | OU | OU | UM | OU | OU |
| PSU-ILL (+7) | PSU | PSU | PSU | PSU | PSU |
| AU (+1.5)-UT | UT | UT | AU | AU | UT |
| USC-Cal (+5) | USC | USC | Cal | Cal | USC |
| JF | MDR | KM | PK | BV | |
| USF-Cuse (+6.5) | USF | Cuse | USF | Cuse | Cuse |
| FSU-BC (+4.5) | FSU | FSU | FSU | BC | FSU |
| Bama-UK (+16) | Bama | Bama | Bama | Bama | Bama |
| Miss-Vandy (+9) | Miss | Vandy | Miss | Miss | Vandy |
| LSU (+3)-UGA | LSU | UGA | LSU | LSU | LSU |
| GT-MSU (+6) | MSU | GT | GT | GT | MSU |
| OU-UM (+7) | OU | UM | UM | UM | UM |
| PSU-ILL (+7 | PSU | PSU | PSU | PSU | ILL |
| AU (+1.5)-UT | UT | AU | AU | AU | UT |
| USC-Cal (+5) | USC | Cal | Cal | USC | Cal |
