Florida politics has always been a giant petri dish of sleaze, and the Florida Legislature is always a spectacular orgy of corruption. However, the one topic that has always been off-limits was oil drilling around Florida. Overwhelming public support for a drilling ban - and the overarching concern for what is left of the natural environment - has stood out every year.
The Florida Legislature is not set to convene a regular session of graft and influence peddling until next year, but a select group of powerful lawmakers plan on forcing a special session as soon as possible in order to legalize near-shore oil drilling in the Florida Gulf Coast.
Proving that D.C. Democrats are not the only politicians who can force through legislation without research or due diligence, the Republicans in control of Florida's government want to ram through drilling legislation right away. Apparently, selling out nature against the wishes of voters should always happen without much discussion.
Hearing people talk about ramming and forced drilling has gotten Gov. Charlie Crist all hot and bothered. Having surveyed the prevailing political winds, Crist flipped positions and now supports drilling. Sources close to Crist have not seen him this excited since he got a poster of a shirtless Hugh Jackman on sale for Pride Week.
Crist took it upon himself to outfit the Governor's Mansion with overly phallic scale models of different deep-water drills and personally tested each potential drill. Aides to Crist note that he seems to enjoy the closed-door process a bit too much and have been complaining about the messy cleanup afterwards.
Oil companies are fresh off record profits, so they have money to burn - and bribe.
Our political system calls it lobbying, but a national political focus on new drilling now threatens to undo decades of statewide opposition to drilling. Florida had for many years decided its own policy on drilling, but at the most inopportune time, the politicians of our state seem to be caving in to national pressure.
Sen. Mike Haridopolos, a politician paid handsomely by UF to come and visit us every now and again, stated in a recent Alligator article that Floridians are missing "about $100 billion in revenue" that can be drilled up and sold. Aside from the fact that Haridopolos is a politician and therefore is likely lying through his teeth, Mike the Oilman is playing loose with the facts and pushing harder than a used-car salesman.
A special legislative session ramming through drilling in Florida is a huge mistake, and the main cheerleaders behind oil drilling should not be the only ones with a voice in this matter. Florida needs a few good men to step up and speak for the future, to look at the long term and not cave in to the pressures of the moment.
Slow it down, Mike. As the next leader of the House Republicans, you are in a position to leave a real legacy other than avarice and destruction. An unflinching opposition to offshore oil drilling is the one thing Florida has always gotten right.
Tommy Maple is a graduate student in international communications. His column appears on Thursdays.
