The week is winding down at the Alligator as we prepare for Halloween, Florida-Georgia, the Fest, sleep... Fortunately, we've been working on our costumes all semester. Thanks to many long nights at the Alligator, accompanied by stimulant-fueled weekend study binges, we're happy to present you with a we-feel-like-zombies-every-day-so-we-don't-need-to-dress-up-for-Halloween edition of...
Darts & Laurels
In our current states, we felt right at home Wednesday when a flash mob brought the zombie apocalypse to the UF campus. Sporting fake blood and tattered clothes, the flash mob attracted a lot of attention, and we loved the idea (playing off the now infamous UF Emergency Zombie Plan). Unfortunately, with such a small turnout, the whole thing looked less like the apocalypse and more like a D-horror movie without all the bad dialogue to laugh at. That's why we're going to throw a think-bigger-next-time DART at the Theatre Strike Force, who organized the event.
This Sunday, the Alligator Editorial Board will have a little less whining to do about lost sleep, as we gain an hour thanks to Daylight Saving Time. For providing us with one precious hour before early Monday classes, we would like to present a we-love-our-antiquated-agrarian-time-system LAUREL to Daylight Saving Time. It might not have any relevance or benefit in today's society, but delaying an 8:30 a.m. writing lab by any amount of time is always a good thing.
On Wednesday, President Barack Obama signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act into law, providing gays and lesbians with federal hate crime protection.
This legislation is on the heels of last week's directive to federal agencies not to pursue or prosecute licensed medical marijuana users or distributors. For the recent rash of action in what advocates have called an unproductive term - and with health care reform finally, well maybe, on its way - we would like to deliver a keeping-campaign-promises-is-awesome LAUREL to the Obama administration.
We were also happy to hear that Obama had time to tour a southwest Florida solar power plant this week. Noticeably absent from the event, in addition to the sunny Florida weather, was Gov. Charlie Crist. Crist is facing a tough Republican primary, and with last winter's Crist-Obama power hug still plaguing him, it's understandable that he wants to distance himself from Democrats. But snubbing Obama while he delivers $200 million in stimulus money for Florida's aging power grid, and claiming that he didn't know Obama would be in town, means we must throw a don't-hide-from-the-man-hug DART to Gov. Crist. Because, if more hugs means more money, then we need all the hugs we can get.
Finally, with the Florida-Georgia game approaching fast, we are happy to hear that an anonymous donor has presented Student Government with a 10-foot wooden oar to celebrate the longstanding rivalry. While we would like to thank this donor by name, we are not surprised that he chose to be anonymous, given that cutting down just about any 1,000-year-old cypress tree, let alone one from the Okefenokee National Wildlife Refuge, is likely illegal. But this oar is amazing... and with that in mind, we would like to give an oars-can-be-paddles-too LAUREL to Mr. Anonymous, because if we have it our way, UF's SG president will have many future opportunities to give Georgia's president a post-victory paddling to remember.
That's all for this week! Go absurdly huge oars!
